Top Ten Worst Ideas For Sequels

Okay, before we get to the funny list – I’m fighting cancer. Have been for more than a year, now. I’m currently undergoing radiation therapy. Colleagues have put together a charity bundle to help me cover costs and expenses. It’s got more than $1,100 worth of games from multiple publishers, all for less than $30. Check it out – https://preview.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/473197/Owen-KC-Stephens-is-RAD-BUNDLE

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Okay, on to the (attempted) humor.

Top Ten Worst Ideas For Sequels

Just because you can think of an idea for a follow-up movie doesn’t mean you should make it! Here are ten of the worst ideas for sequels I could think of… all based on the kind of sequels that have really gotten made.

10. Plan 10 From Outer Space: Okay, here’s the pitch to the producer “There’s NO chance this will be worse than the original!”

9. Babe — Baa Slash You: Yep, it’s the adorable sheep-herding pig from “Babe,” starring in the cheap bloody horror movie no one asked for and, to be honest, upon hearing about it most people asked for it to specifically not get made.

8. First Voyage of the Demeter: Spoiler —nothing interesting happens. WHY do people keep making prequels?

7. Grease III: I’m torn between “Grease Fire!” as the tagline for an action movie version or “Grease *Stain*” for a horror movie version. … Or maybe “Grease Gun” if they all get shipped out to the Vietnam Nam War.

All with singing, of course.

6. Highlander II: Take Highlander, but add some weird scifi stuff that claims the immortals were all reincarnated alien spirits and part of some rebellion and bring back Ramirez with no real explanation and… aren’t we glad there was no sequel to Highland, since there CoUld bE ONly oNe?

5. Nopes: Lots of movies title their sequel just by pluralizing the title. So for “Nope,” that gives us… Nopes! So, it’s the plot of Nope, but with more of all the things that are in that movie. … And… commandos, maybe? Or a secret US military kill squad?

4. Lifeboat, Bermuda Bugaloo: A sequel to Alfred Hitchcock’s 1944 “Lifeboat,” it picks up right where the original ends. Then the boat and its occupants drift into the Bermuda Triangle, and end up facing dinosaurs, aliens, and time-traveling Nazis. Ends in a dance-off. But no worries, no one would ever think of making a scifi version of Lifeboat, right?!

3. Star Wars II — Star Warser: Often sequels decide to ignore everything after the first movie in a series, and just do a new sequel to that original. So, go back to Star Wars (even before they slapped “A New Hope” onto the opening crawl), and do a sequel that ignores EVERYTHING else. Fans will handle that okay, right?!

2. Oppenheimest: “What’s more Oppenheimer than Oppenheimer? Oppenheimest!” Once you decide to make this movie, the plot doesn’t matter.

1. Buttercup, Princess in the City: What’s an even worse idea than a Princess Bride remake? A soulless sequel! To keep costs down it’s moved to a modern setting, filmed in Vancouver, and while Fred Savage’s “The Grandson” character appears in it (trying to save Buttercup from being married off to “the Garbage King of Jersey”), a different actors plays the role.