What I’ve Learned

I’ve learned (again) that mourning fades but doesn’t end and that grief leaves scars.

I’ve learned that I would rather live with the memory of loss than push it away.

I’ve learned that if you’re afraid of forgetting someone, you can help yourself remember.

I’ve learned that there can be comfort in dreams.

I’ve learned that people who have lost dogs are a tribe.

I’ve learned a little about what my grandmother must have felt like in her last years and why she kept returning to the people she’d lost.

And I’ve learned that while family doesn’t make grief hurt less, they are a comfort, a reminder that you aren’t alone, a reassurance that the love you felt was real, and a love that can sustain you.

Kobalt would sit on the couch and crane his neck over the back to watch us as we went upstairs.