Book Review for Never Leave, Never Lie by Thea Verdone

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

Never Leave, Never Lie by Thea Verdone is a psychological romance about a couple trying to navigate a labyrinth of secrets that threatens to destroy their love for one another. After being rejected by his fiancé, Ian Stewart, Alek Katin has stopped at nothing to try to change his mind, from inviting a plethora of lovers into the gorgeous Victorian mansion they’re renovating together, to sweeping all his mental scars under the rug, if only to try and reclaim Ian’s affections. What starts as a series of “bad” habits becomes increasingly dangerous when Alek’s mind begins to betray him, trapping him in his family’s complicated history. Meanwhile, Ian tries to find a way to save the man he loves, even if his heart has already started pulling away.

At first, I was over Alek’s drama. The fact that he tried to manipulate Ian into marrying him raised multiple red flags, regardless of whether or not I understood him to some degree. Then again, I guess it’s not me mad at him for trying to manipulate Ian so much as the fact that he told him he was rich and that he allowed Ian to pay for everything himself. One of my love languages is financial provision, and for Alek to do that did grind my gears. What makes me even more upset is how much Alek’s behaviors mirror my own, but that’s beside the point. That’s not to say that I didn’t relate to Ian at all; I’ve seen a lot of people’s families, myself included, tend to give nearly everything they have to someone who struggles with mental illness. It’s an interesting dilemma; just like how someone isolates themselves because of the shadows in their mind, their shadows become ours. It gives credence to how Ian described Alek, that while he could leave Alek was always a part of him. Yes, it can be a good thing, but go in too deep and it could be just as painful.

Moreover, despite it not being Ian’s responsibility, I loved how he was able to teach Alek new coping skills, even though he wasn’t that receptive at the time. Despite him clearly having his own mental and emotional issues, Ian is the more clearheaded of the two. For the first time, it seemed like Alek had to follow Ian’s lead if he wanted to win him back. It was a good way for him to start focusing on things outside of himself. And true, it might not have been pleasant (an interrupted suicide isn’t that romantic, in my opinion), but he was able to pull through. Again, Ian didn’t have to do that. But he did anyway because he loved him. I work in a community mental health setting, and a lot of times people who have a diagnosis with a psychosis component isolate themselves. Their symptoms cause them to lash out at family members and loved ones. It’s the reason why I take such a shine to Ian; he’s a very accurate portrayal of what it means to love someone with a severe mental illness. 

Still, a lot of Alek’s behaviors infuriated me. If anything, it was as though he had trouble relinquishing control to Ian, that even though he wanted to spend the rest of his life with the man, he didn’t actually want to give up anything. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too, and that was the main reason why I was deterred by him. You lie to yourself so much until you breathe them yourself. Heartbroken? Just get a bunch of escorts to toy with your ex-fiancé’s heart. You’ve got money? That’s okay, just pretend that you’re poor so that you and your ex-fiancé can struggle together. Don’t wanna take meds? That’s fine. Just pretend everything’s okay. 

I enjoyed this book a lot. While I was a little unnerved by how relatable the characters were, I liked the revelations they went through and how they were able to piece together their own happy ends. As such, I would give this book a 4 out of 5 stars.