The Year I Was Determined To Have My Way

2018 was one year that definitely taught me the pain and destruction that comes with stubbornly attempting to live my life on my own terms instead of trusting God with my future.

It was one of the darkest years in my life and I felt abandoned by God.

So I decided that I was going to live my life by my own standards.

I decided how to use the talents and abilities that God has blessed me with. I decided which relationships were a good fit for my life. I decided what my priorities were. I decided what right and wrong was and when to make exceptions to certain rules.

And the results were disastrous.

Instead of feeling empowered, I felt more lost than I ever had before. I allowed toxic, dangerous relationships into my life. I tried to force my way into places that I didn’t even belong in.

I almost totally ruined my life and the enemy gladly took advantage of the poor choices that I had made.

It is only by God’s inexplicable grace, mercy and love that all the bad that came out of that year ended up redirecting me toward the things that He wanted for me and toward a deeper, more mature relationship with Him.

But in many ways, I am still living with the consequences of 2018.

By being determined to do things my way, I allowed so much unnecessary pain and trouble into my life.

Society says that life is best lived when we live it on our own terms.

Society is wrong.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) state, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”.

God’s way will always be a million times better than anything we can come up with on our own.