Why Writing Neurodivergent Romantic Interests is Important To Me
I only discovered I was autistic close to age 50. When I did, I blinked twice and noticed nearly everyone around me I was close to was also neurodivergent (ND). Welp. That explained a lot!
I’ve been married for almost 33 years and yes, one can be autistic and in a longterm relationship. Unfortunately, there are people out there who might disagree or who will argue that I’m not really ND.
But I am. I have a loving spouse and loving friends. Deal with it.
As an author, it finally hit me that I have always been writing neurodivergent characters who get involved romantically. In Life in the ’Cosm, Noola is very much the extroverted, blurty me I was in my 20s. I knew I had written her with a neuropathic disability, but it only occurred to me years later that she’s also ND. What was nice for me was how much readers loved her. That warmed my heart.
When I decided to explore Xax and Viv’s backstory (two beloved warrior-dads from Life in the ’Cosm) in The Stealth Lovers prequel, I’d made another discovery. “I think Xax is neurodivergent,” I said to my BFF. Xax was also blurty, but in a sassy and snarky way, and he had acute observation qualities. His hyperfocus also helped him be an extraordinary fighter pilot.
It was only after that book was published did I have my own epiphany about being autistic. So, when I approached Season One: Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space!, I was much more intentional about how I wrote Horatio Herbert, Head of Engineering. A lot of who I am as an autistic person is poured into Herb, and little Gerri, who he takes care of later in the book. But it was really important to me to first have Herb be involved in a romance with a fellow he really loved. His love interest is not neurodivergent and doesn’t ever expect Herb to change. In my worldbuilding, the Keangal is an accepting place, and it was great to have Herb just be himself. Because we don’t have to become or act more neurotypical to love and be loved.
And now, I’m currently working to complete the first draft of Hot Wings and Sauciness, where I just put my foot on the pedal for Colleen O’Donnell, my 50-something autistic and disabled space station tech. This is the space opera Romance nobody asked for, but I’ll still be glad to share it with the world one day. Colleen might not be your typical romantic heroine, but her snarky, sweary self throws the dashing captain everyone drools over right off his guard. I still can’t tell if this story is about the desire for a man or the coveted basket of scrumptious wings at Coq of the Walk. Maybe both? I mean, if it’s a Cait Gordon space opera, food has to play a major role, right?
I wish I lived in a world where writing autistic romantic heroes wasn’t an extraordinary thing. But there are a lot of writers all over the neurodivergent spectrum of awesomeness, and as I always say, fiction has the power to influence. So, may we continue to influence how we are perceived by neurotypical people through our storytelling. Hopefully this will bring the fullness of our humanity to the forefront, which in turn could bring an awareness of the supports and accommodations we require to live our best lives.
Hey, gal can dream, right?
In the meantime, all you neurospicy and neurofabulous authors, keep putting your art out there! Show us your ND protagonists! We’re not a monolith, so let’s represent the diversity of neurodiversity! It deserves to be a part of the world!
Woo!
Cait Gordon is an autistic, disabled, and queer Canadian writer of speculative fiction that celebrates diversity. She is the author of the disability-hopepunk adventure, Season One: Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space! (a 2023 Indie Ink Award finalist). Cait also founded the Spoonie Authors Network and joined Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the multi-genre, disability fiction anthologies Nothing Without Us (a 2020 Prix Aurora Award finalist) and Nothing Without Us Too (a 2023 Prix Aurora Award winner).
