Something about twenty-four, but who’s counting?
I remember the first day I went to grade one as vividly as if it were today. I got on a bussurrounded by the only people I knew in the whole of my world, my family. I wasthe 7th one on the bus from the Linehan household so I knew sixpeople within the confines of that yellow metal new-to-me experience. That wasthe day my world expanded beyond the boundaries of the Linehan fences. To makematters more complicated, I was ten days late because of a sore throat that hadtaken me out like so many before it and so many to come.
That first time going to school was a terrifying rebirth inways that none would particularly understand today because of play dates, daycare, pre-kindergarten, kindergarten, MacDonalds, Hockey, Soccer, Music, camps,birthday parties, etc. that allow kids to connect. Conveniences like washingmachines and dryers, crock pots, air fryers, electric ranges that will cook anytime you want, freezer meals, vacuums, electronic sweepers, all the things thattake away the menial tasks that were once more labourious and essential toliving. They were a lot bigger than menial in that they took up all the time of,really, mostly the women and mothers and there was very little time left for themselves. Allthese kids activities we weren’t exposed to, so my world remained inside thefence posts with the one who made all those things look easy. And that was thesame for mostly every other household that we would come to know.
Now me and the five other grade one students of 1970 onAlbert MacDonald’s bus from North Harbour to Our Lady of Mount Carmel schoolare or have turned sixty in 2024. We and the other twenty odd in our class havespread out across the world. Some we have lost, some have returned to their rootsin our little bay, and some have no intention of coming back, even for a visit.Regardless, they shaped that vulnerable part of my life from that wide-eyed andfrightening day on the bus until grade eleven graduation.
Not all these experiences within those eleven years werefun I might add. Like being in the crosshairs of Rayme D when he had the dodgeball, and youwere the only thing between him and a win. Not fun. Well, if he got you. But ifyou got him, that was a different story. New friendships popped up that remaintoday while others are just pictures in a yearbook because I haven’t seen themsince the last bell in 1981. Overall, that was a time of growth. Moving onafter that was quite traumatizing, as well. Not only because of what happenedto me that last summer before grade eleven but also because it was going outinto the world on a new school bus with nobody familiar around to keep mecompany. Social media wasn’t a thing, so our only social was within the walls ofthe school or the endpoints of North Harbour. The September after graduation,our worlds expanded. Knowing you’d survive it because you’d doneit before was cold comfort. Again, I was ten days late starting and friendshipshad been made of which I was never part of. Being in the crosshairs of teachersmaligning me because I was a girl trying to do a “man’s” job at CivilEngineering was also terrifying. It was a thing and the was hasn't quite lived up to its name because it's still a thing.
Then I got married and moved to a new community and theworld expanded again. That time I had a partner who could introduce me to thisnew world. Family happens as family does and the next thing the world turned upsidedown and I was off to school again, college this time uncaring that I was alonegoing through the same doors that had not been kind to me the time before. Itwas different, not at all intimidating. I was older and my own care was for thefamily I got to see on weekends.
After that it was off to work with the federal government,new world but a few people that I'd gone through college with accompanied me on that bus into the newest expansion.
I’ve spent a little less than half my life as a federal public servant. Now I can’t believe I have twenty-four work weeks until I leave that world behind. I made a decision in January that I’d retire this year. People who don’t know what it is actually like to work as a federal public servantwill say, “oh, you had it knocked,” meaning that I cruised through those twenty-sevenyears without much to do, with no stress, feet up, paid well, etc. That’s notthe truth. To them that knows, I was driving the bus on so many things, out infront of change, pioneering, and working hard to improve things that made senseand unafraid to speak up when things didn’t. I can truly say I loved my job andeven the times that the dodgeball was aimed at me was exhilarating.
My kids thought and still think I was/am a spy, but I digress.
Like all choices I make, I move on. I don’t waste time on a second guess,nor do I remake decisions. I’m excited for this new bus into the ever after of retirement.Perhaps I’ll spend some time at the wheel and perhaps I’ll do a hop on hop off version into my expansion. I have lots to look forward to and I’m not done yet. I’ll write more. I’lladventure more. I’ll write more about those adventures. Maybe I'll start something new.
What I am most proud off is that I’ve made the most extraordinaryfriendships at school, at college, at work, and through writing, and thoseconnections will continue long past my final day at work, October 15, 2024. I could never imagine all these people when I got on that bus in grade one.
As I reflect more on my twenty-four remaining weeks at work(I know the math doesn’t add up but that’s where the spy thing comes in 😉),in this year of 2024, it might seem appropriate to drink a “24” for the 24 remaining weeks, but I do haveto work tomorrow and I’m allergic to beer.
Whether I have 24 minutes, hours, months, years, ahead ofme, I know this is not an end but a new beginning. A chance to pick my expanding. Nothing I can change behind me. So, look out world, I’m beingunleashed at a bus stop full of lessons learned and not an ounce of anxiety orfear as I look for destinations.
If you’re lucky enough to have me as your driver when youget on, your lucky enough. Kidding, not kidding. That’s up to you. Expanding happens all the time. Embrace it. Possibilities, come here till I get a look at you.
