Behind the Scenes Sunday

Negative Self-Talk

Let’s take a peek at the cogs inside the machine and talk about why I write and how I write on Behind the Scenes Sunday! Today I’d like to talk about my struggles with negative self-talk and some ways to combat the less-than-kind voices in your head.

I am the queen of negative self-talk. Often times, I will send myself into a spiral of depression and anxiety with negative self-talk that I’m not even fully conscious is happening. I will ignore all my good qualities, all my accomplishments, all the things I have in my life, all the people who love me, every positive thing in my life and focus relentlessly on all my failings, all the things I have yet to achieve, all the things I don’t have, all the people who have left me, and every negative thing in my life. And I am truly vicious in the language I use when I talk to myself.

Sometimes it feels like nothing is ever good enough for Negative Robin.

But for the past few months, I have been making a concerted effort to change all that. I am my own worst enemy when I should be my biggest supporter. I don’t want to fear my judgment more than anyone else’s. I want to be my biggest advocate and ally and I think I can make that happen. So can you! Here’s a few ideas to fight back against the negative voice in your own head:

Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to your best friend. Would you ever tell your friend that they suck and they’re never going to amount to anything? Then why would you tell yourself that? Cut it out! Become your own best friend.Imagine your favorite fictional character pumping you up. If being your own best friend feels impossible (you’re just not best friend material, you wrongly think), imagine your favorite fictional character being your best friend. Imagine what they would say to you if you told them you were feeling worthless, or like a failure. Let the characters who inspire you pump you up!Make a list of your accomplishments. Evidence, evidence, evidence. Your negative voice is making bad faith arguments about why you’re no good — so show up with some evidence for how much you rule!

As always, if you’re interested in supporting me and my work, thank you: Hungry is the Night, my paranormal romance, is available on all major platforms, as are my classic murder mysteries with scifi twists, The Cadence Turing Mystery series!

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