Weird Wednesday Feb. 14: It’s Valentine’s Day (I couldn’t have planned it better)
I know what you’re thinking: “What is the origin of Valentine’s Day?” To that I respond, “The real one or the made-up satirical one?” And you say, “The real one please.”
Okie fine.
One day in ancient Rome—which at the time was an Italic settlement (named for the inhabitants who always had a forward lean from plowing the fields) a humble actor, Rudolfus Valentino, still in his costume from his role of Friar Tuck in “Robin Hood, The Musical”, came across two lovers kissing on a park bench—known then as ‘a rock’ since park benches hadn’t been invented yet (DaVinci actually drew several sketches but were accidently burned when he left the hot plate on after making ramen. True story.)
After grabbing a stick and hitting them with it while yelling, “Get a room!” he accidentally stabbed one of the lovers hard enough to draw blood.
“What the hell did you do that for, you old geezer,” the man (we’ll call him Walter) said.
Shocked at the unplanned result, Rudolfus used his rosery as a bowstring to send the incriminating evidence into the river Tiber and fled.
The female (we’ll call her Mabel) was so impressed with Walter’s chivalry that she immediately fell in love. At the wedding reception, one of the groomsmen man incorrectly retold the story—due to being slightly inebriated—saying something along the lines of a monk turning into a flying baby archer.
Mabel, quite embarrassed, turned to Walter and said, “I told you we shouldn’t have invited him.”
True story.
-Leon
Leon Stevens is a multi-genre author, composer, guitarist, songwriter, and an artist, with a Bachelor of Music and Education. He published his first book of poetry, Lines by Leon: Poems, Prose, and Pictures in January 2020, followed by a book of original classical guitar compositions, Journeys, and a short story collection of science fiction/post-apocalyptic tales called The Knot at the End of the Rope and Other Short Stories. His newest publications are the novella trilogy, The View from Here, which is a continuation of one of his short stories, and a new collection of poetry titled, A Wonder of Words.
My new book page: http://books.linesbyleon.com/
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