Reminders About What You Can Control In Writing Vs. What You Can’t

There are different ways that people describe their role as a writer. Some say they are the parent to their “book baby” (which I’ve never been a fan of because it’s weird), that they’re a channel for the muse, or a benevolent God-type figure making all the characters move like chess pieces on a board.

No matter the way they, or you, see yourself as a writer, it’s likely from a view of being in control.

As word-smiths, we control the world we’re building, the characters we’re molding, and their actions. As soon as we write that first draft, we are in control, so it’s hard when you realize there are parts of writing that are out of your control.

Reminders About What You Can Control In Writing Vs. What You Can’tThe Writing

What You Can Control…

When you write and how it turns out.

Getting a book written and edited from the first draft to the last is something under your control. Even if it takes years to complete what’s imprinted on the page, the timeline and the form your writing takes is up to you.

What You Can’t Control…

What others think of what you’ve written.

As much as we’d love for everyone to gush about how our work is absolutely the greatest, that’s very unlikely. If what you’ve written is good, it will be seen that way by others, but not everyone.

Just as I’m sure you’ve come across books that you didn’t connect with, your book will be like that for someone else. Maybe a lot of someone else’s. You can’t control that, so keep that in mind as you share your writing with the world, and only worry about writing to the best of your ability.

The Sale Of Your Work

What You Can Control…

For those who self-publish, you can control the price and on-sale date. For those with a publisher, you can help the sale of your work with promotion leading up to release day. In both cases, writers can plan book launches, marketing blitzes, and rally interest when there’s a debut, new release, or book anniversary. Creating awareness of the sale of your book is one thing you can control.

Post on social media, use your newsletter, website, and blog to get the word out, and make use of the writing community to spread the word about the sale of your work, not to be confused with sales, because those are…

What You Can’t Control…

You can’t control if anyone buys your book, and that’s a hard pill to swallow.

You may have been building up to a release date for weeks, months, or years, and have plenty of interest whenever the subject is raised, but come release day, expectations could fall very short.

People you know in real life may not buy a copy like you thought they would, and the realization that enthusiastic comments on social media don’t translate to real-world purchases becomes very real.

This isn’t just for debut books either. You could be on your 6th novel and have a precedent for selling hundreds of copies during the first week of release, only to have your latest not even reach double digits.

There could be a million different reasons you’d be in such a scenario, none of which is because of the quality of your book. It’s also likely you’ll never have answers for such questions and trying to guess (is it the economy? Book prices? Are readers not aware you have a new book?) will loop endlessly. You can’t control if others are going to buy your book. What you can control is making sure your socials and website advertise your book. You can also control your gratefulness to anyone who does buy it, so endlessly loop your energy to that.

Help

What You Can Control…

Asking for help.

Whether that’s help from family to get time to write, beta reading from fellow writers, formatting assistance from someone who knows how, or questions about the art of writing answered by those ahead of you in the writing community. For help, never be afraid to ask for it. I’m sure you’ll find most are willing and able to give it.

What You Can’t Control…

How fast or deep others can provide that help.

If you asked another writer to beta read, and they didn’t immediately stop their whole life to devour your 100,000-word manuscript and get back to you with in-depth feedback for every perfectly written paragraph, you need to adjust your expectations. Even if you did that as a beta for them, how and in what time frame they’ll give you their feedback is up to them.

Control what you can, which is to ask for help, to give your best help to others, and have faith that the help anyone else gives back to you is the best that they can do too.

Marketing/Social Media

What You Can Control…

The marketing you’re comfortable with.

These days, social media marketing falls to all writers—independent and traditional, and while the expectation is that you’ll do some form of it, choosing the marketing you like to do should be in your control.

Posting once a week, or every day. Using TikTok or not using TikTok. Making only graphics because you like the creativity of it, but not posting videos because you aren’t comfortable in front of the camera should be things you’re in control of. If a quarterly newsletter is the only form of marketing you can handle, control that, do that.

What You Can’t Control…

Your audience seeing it.

Unfortunately, one downside of social media is that you can get on board with posting, creating all the content you’ll ever need, scheduling posts at ideal times, and committing to regularly posting for years—and not enough people, or the right people, will ever see it.

This is because you have no control over the algorithm. What’s worse, is no one even knows what the algorithm wants. It changes all the time. Years ago, photos were all Instagram was about. Now, it’s all about Reels. But even if you switch to Reels, the chances yours will be shown, even to your own followers, are slim.

The hard truth is, you may never move past a certain number of followers and you most likely will never go viral—no matter how much you’re led to believe everyone is only one rightly timed post away from hitting the social media jackpot.

You can’t control any of that. Stick to posts you love creating and uploading, or can at least tolerate creating and posting. Modern writing demands you do it, so you might as well make it as easy on yourself as possible, and hopefully, it will entertain or inspire the people who do get to see your posts.

Book Reviews

What You Can Control…

Your reaction.

That’s it. And it doesn’t even have to be a good reaction. If a review hurts your feelings, it’s perfectly valid to privatively vent about it and inhale your body weight in chocolate. Just as a great book review might have you popping open a bottle of champagne and consuming celebratory chocolate (which is different from sad chocolate, even if it’s the same chocolate).

What You Can’t Control…

If anyone leaves a review, if it’s good, or if that 1-star rating has actual text with it so that you know why they disliked your book so much.

You cannot control those things, and trying to is just as bad as worrying about them. It won’t get you anywhere, so don’t waste your time or chocolate. If you can, get someone you trust to check reviews for marketing quotes, give the okay for any constructive review snippets to come your way, and concentrate on your next WIP. Reviews are for readers and will help the right ones find your work.

Expectations/Changing Dreams

What You Can Control…

What you expect of yourself and the dreams you want to strive for.

We may all start out wanting to write the next big thing, bask in the glow of bestseller lists, and Hollywood adaptations, or just make a living wage from our writing. Those dreams usually shift we when realize that rarely happens.

Going with that flow and adjusting your dreams to penning books that give you joy to work on, even if it’s only you and a handful of others who’ll love your work like it’s a best seller, is what you can control.

What You Can’t Control…

If those expectations/dreams happen in any form at all.

We all have that picture-perfect idea of what a successful author is, but your career might never reach such heights, and that is something we all make peace with at some point.

You may never get flowers from a publisher on release day or congrats from an agent. Your book may never be spoken about by retailers and those in the industry. You may never see it on a bookstore shelf or have a signing with a crowd in attendance. You may never garner thousands of reviews, see your book on “Best Of” lists, or be nominated for awards.

You can aim for those dreams, and you can try your best to get them, but you can’t control if you will. You may even get a measure of them, but the fact they’ll lead to better things isn’t a given.

Just because you can’t control if your writing dreams happen, however, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t daydream about them, or work toward big goals. Go with what you can control, adjust your expectations when needed, and above all, love what you do achieve.

There is so much we can’t control in the world of writing, and it is very easy to get discouraged. It’s also very easy to find the right inspiration, idea, community, and new dreams. Just lean into what’s in your control and see where it takes you.

— K.M. Allan

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