My battle with the mail system

 Day 32 of 365 days. 333 days left to go.

Friends,

Let me start this off by saying that I adore my local USPS workers. I appreciate the hard work, long hours, and smile I am always greeted with when I go in.

BUT…

There is trouble brewing in the world of shipping. I can smell it. I can sense it.

And my packages are feeling it.

Let me explain.

All this started in early December when my mother ordered a holiday gift box of my books for a relative who lives 10 minutes from where I work. The instructions were clear- the package must say it was delivered by ‘Santa’ and needs to be there before Christmas.

I handed the box off to USPS the first week of Christmas. At the USPS station 7 minutes from where it was being delivered. In person. Handed it to a living person with a smile. Tracking number in hand, I left feeling confident my job was done.

Now looking back- that was my first mistake. It was the first week of December. I should have taken the box myself and not used USPS. I knew, in my heart of hearts, it was a terrible idea. But I had limited time and needed the package to travel the 1.5 miles to my cousin’s home.

What could go wrong?

Three days later, it was lost in Seattle. A city 97 miles away. No one could find it. I called and went to the post office three times looking for it. Nothing. They told me it probably fell off a truck along the way. They told me that I should send another package out. They told me that it was usual this time of year.

At least their ‘you’re screwed, get over it’ message was conveyed with a smile.

Fast forward to about a week ago when I got a lovely message from another customer who was checking on their box. They ordered it on the 31st of December, and it was mid-January. I looked at the tracking and saw that it was delivered to my local USPS (like I knew it was), and just like the other one, it was lost.

I headed home and made another box. Now, I need to pause here and tell you that when someone orders my ‘limited edition books,’ it is not just a quick pack-and-go. It takes me about an hour and a half to prepare the books and boxes for each set. Limited edition books are a labor of love and time.

Which, normally, I do gladly.

The box was repacked and sent back into the world of shipping with a blessing by a priest, a quick prayer to the gods, and a medicine man’s chant.

Fast forward again to two nights ago, when I got another order for the limited edition holiday box. (I really need to take them off my website) and I spent almost two hours prepping. At exactly 0705 a.m. yesterday morning, I put the package in the mailbox. The little red flag was up. The mailbox is locked, so no one can steal it. I even double-checked to make sure it was in the mailbox.

It was ready to make the journey to its new forever home.

As of 0400 am this morning, USPS has not secured the package.

I understand the lack of employees. I understand the stress of being overworked. But at this point, I don’t know what else to do. It costs $12.00 to send the boxes through USPS and $32.00 through FedEx. And FedEx hasn’t been much better lately in terms of delivery success rates.

So I have decided to get a credit card, fly to each destination myself and hand deliver. Each box will be a net loss of between $500-$1,500, but I don’t know what else to do. Other than telling people to order from Amazon.

They have a better track record of getting orders to where they need to be in a timely manner.

Which leads me to the motivation for this post. This is another reason why small businesses are failing. It’s not that their hearts aren’t in it. It’s not that they lack business sense. It’s the repetition of situations like this. Each time USPS shrugs its shoulders and says, ‘Oh well,’ I lose a piece of my soul, profit, and motivation.

So, I’m off to the post office again today. I got another order last night, and by TikTok standards, I only have 48 hours to get it on the road. My fingers are crossed that this one makes it and I can find the other.

I really need to quit my day job.

And until tomorrow, my friends- Keep Reading and Stay Caffeinated.

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and renewed sense of vigor.

Adam Carolla

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