Jumping Jack

Disclaimer: Okay, right off, I want to say that I do notcondone the actions of said ‘Jack’ in what follows. In point of fact, I think…Well, maybe I should start at the beginning…

Jack be nimble,Jack be quick,Jack jump over thecandlestick
You’ve heard it before, I’m quite sure. This little dittyabout a mysterious someone named ‘Jack’ who spends his time airborne over candlesticks.Now I don’t know about you, but for me, a candlestick isgenerally used as a source of light. And less commonly, heat.But never as some sort of athletic measuring stick.That just makes me uncomfortable.I mean, what happens if Jack is feeling a little less ‘nimble’on a given day and thus ‘slower’ in his reaction times?Would it then follow that we might see:
Jack not nimbleJack not quickJack scooting overyonder hill in a frantic search for a water source.
You’re right. It doesn’t rhyme.Now just where and/or when did this really strange activitybegin?Are we to believe that one day, out of the blue, some kidnamed Jack just decided to leap over some random candlestick?Okay, yes, I know that a group of kids hanging out togetherare often the architects of ‘mischief’. And maybe someone suggested the art offlame leap-age as a possible reprieve from boredom.Maybe they even suggested that everyone give it a try, and he who neither lights his britches nor snuffs the candle wins good luck and along life.Let’s face it, if one does light one’s britches on fire,long life isn’t going to be a problem.Ahem…
So:Kids be nimbleKids be quickKids better find somethingconstructive to do or Mama going to warm kids’ britches--without a candlestick.
Hmmmm. I’m having trouble with this.Actually, I’ve heard of bridegrooms attempting similarfeats—the leaping, not the lighting—in an effort to ensure a long and happymarriage.But you know me. I prefer things like: affection,conversation and good humour to blah…blah…blah…marriage.But that’s just me…So…back to Jack. And his candlestick.I think the whole exercise is just silly, silly, silly.Waste of time, energy and resources.I think it would be better said like this:
Jack be nimbleJack be quickJack leave the candlestick on the table and get Jack’schores done.
The end.P.S. Now I’ve heard of hiding your light under a bushel,but never under a derriere.I just wanted to put that out there.