Declutter Like a Southern Mother

Happy 2024! Down on the Farm

Declutter Like a Southern Mother

If you’ve read my posts til now, you’ll know I am a fan of Allie Casazza’s Declutter Like a Mother.

I started a few years ago with her DLAM challenge. I did a couple of those and later I got her Your Uncluttered Home and Unburdened programs (and a few others). I was off to a decent start and then life happened.

I haven’t completed either program (yet), but the huge thing for me was the mindset takeaway.

The Backstory

My great-grandparents and grandparents lived through The Great Depression. They learned to hang on to things, to reuse and repurpose. They passed these habits on to their kids. They passed it on to me. Not only the habits but much of the actual things were passed to me later in my adulthood.

My parents worked hard for all we had. There were many times when they struggled financially. Layoffs and injuries aren’t your friend when you have a mortgage and two children. But they always found a way to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads.

My sister and I always understood and appreciated their hard work and sacrifice.

When my parents were able, they doted on us, as did our grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

While none of these things are bad, they have contributed to my present situation of too many things.

When you see how hard someone works for something and you see the time and consideration put into it, you (I) have a hard time parting with it.

I was feeling sentimental towards some things and feeling guilty even considering getting rid of others, just because of where or who they came from. And I had the “but what if I NEED it later?” mentality about things.

That leads to a lot of clutter. It also lead to anxiety and depression. I was frustrated and tired. When other things happened—illness, visitors, minor in-home disasters, etc—I was so incredibly stressed.

While I wasn’t at hoarder level and I did donate or sell some things, it just wasn’t enough. No sooner had I gotten rid of things than more came in.

Things take up your precious time and joy when you spend most of your time cleaning them up or moving them around and “organizing” them.

What Helped

In Allie’s programs she teaches that if everything is special, nothing is special. She puts things into perspective. While it’s true that my husband and I and our family before us have worked hard for the things we have, when we’re done using those things, when they no longer serve us or bring us joy, it’s ok to pass those things on. It’s more than ok. It’s necessary.

When I internalized that and let go of the guilt, I began to let so many things go that I never would have before and it’s been liberating.

Decluttering like a Southern Mother

What do u mean by “like a Southern mother?” you might ask.

I’m not only dealing with my things. We have two kids and we have things from each of our childhoods, and all of my grandparents’ and some of my husband’s grandparents’ things. Years of things. And it was feeling heavy.

If you were raised in a Southern family you probably know that we take things that were passed down seriously. If you’re the kid that got Aunt Sally’s sewing machine or Mamaw Mary’s pans, you better take care of them and keep them. Forever. But also Uncle John’s tools and Uncle Jerry’s lawn gnomes…

I don’t actually have any of these family members. Those are all fictional scenarios, but you get the idea. It can be a lot.

And if you happen not to need some of these things anymore (after all you have other things they’ve given you that perhaps mean more), save yourself a heap of trouble and ask family members if they want them before you sell or donate. That’s the “like a Southern Mother” part. Otherwise, you may cause a family feud that could 100 percent have been avoided.

Our little family will probably never be true minimalists. I’m ok with keeping family “heirlooms.” I like the momentos and reminders from the past.

But we don’t have to keep everything that each of family member ever had. And I need to remind myself of that.

We will become more minimal. Things we have outgrown, things that are broken, and things that aren’t used are going to be trashed, donated, or sold. Or given to relatives.

So that’s where I’m at. We’re going through things to go and I have my truck loaded with about 5 large trash bags full of things to donate. This is the third load this year (so this month!)

Some things will move with us and then be rehomed once we’re settled and we get a feel for what we need. I think I have the hardest time with paper clutter, but I’m working through that as well.

Looking at the mess, it’s easy to get discouraged, but cleaning/decluttering one small space at a time adds up. Sometimes a break or small reward for effort goes a long way. Sometimes just going into an already clean and tidy area of the house calms me and motivates me.

I can’t wait to get there. This process has already had a positive effect on me, our homeschool, my writing, etc. I know my husband and kids will benefit and enjoy being clutter-free as much as I will. So I’ll keep working at it and Good Lord willing we will get there.

If you can’t relate and already have your ish together, that’s great.