What this space is for

Can we all agree that January has been a beast? Like. My gosh. I have lived a thousand lifetimes in this month alone. But I’ve also grown a lot–kicking and screaming, but growing. And I’m here on this drizzly Saturday to report back with one of the biggest things I’ve learned.

My old counselor used to tell me to leave margin, that God works in the margin. Sometimes I’m better at this than others. But this year, I resolved: In 2024 I was going to focus on space. (It should tell you something that my biggest goals for the year involved reading more poetry and trying every flavor of Jeremiah’s Italian Ice.)

And now, a mere month into the year, I’m back to report that God does indeed work in the margins of our lives. Instead of stuffing my calendar to the gills and pushing my body to its max, I’ve been simply leaving space. I expected this space to end up being used for resting or doing fun writing or watching a TV show just because. And it has been. (I recommend The Artful Dodger on Hulu.) But, surprisingly–and more importantly–I’ve noticed that primarily, this space has given me the energy and ability to care for my people well. Making less plans and holding them loosely has allowed me to find the time and energy to do things like:

Text a friend at 5:30 “hey, wanna come over tonight and I’ll make you dinner?”Push off work in favor of sitting on the phone for hours with a hurting friendStay after the party is over to help clean upGo to coffee with someone who is lonely, and listen more than I talkScour the shelves of Target for items to help someone start fresh

We’re barely 30 days into the year and yet it’s been hard, for everyone. So many people whom I love are hurting and struggling in really serious ways. I’ve needed space more than ever–but I’ve learned that it’s not just for me. This space I’ve carved out in my life has given me the bandwidth to tangibly show up and pour into people who need it right then.

I saw an Instagram post recently talking about how kindness and busyness rarely coexist. “Busy leaves little space for kindness,” the post wrote. To truly love people well, you need to slow down and be more attuned to the people around you. Since my energy and function are quite a bit more limited than most people’s, that requires really slowing down for me–continually reassessing how much I think I can do and then intentionally filling my plate with less than that. (Which, for this enneagram 3, is a struggle.) The result: pockets that God can fill either with time to rest or a person to love, as He sees fit.

I am open to God’s plans for my month, week, or day and how He wants to work in and through me. And in this season, I think a lot of that is going to involve loving and helping different people in my family, friends, and church family who are struggling so much.

I knew this year would be about space. I just didn’t know exactly what that would look like. But I’ve been convicted to focus on helping and supporting the people close to me as much as I can. And creating space in my life has given me many unexpected opportunities to do that–to participate in the good works that God has prepared for me to do.

I’ve also learned a lot this month about trust… but I think that’s going to be a separate blog post. Has your January also been ridiculously long? Have you noticed that leaving margin in your life gives you more ability to help and love others?