Ways to Spice Up the Workday Using Fantasy Tropes
Boring day at the office? Try any of these fun ways to keep it exciting. Except not really because some will get you executed for war crimes!
1. War drums – Why enter tax season with an army of accountants packed into cubicles with only the clatter of keyboards when you could have a man in a loin cloth and Viking helmet beat those drums? Hire another fur clad warrior to whip those pencil pushers when they aren’t doing taxes fast enough. Who says you can’t make money and have fun doing it?
2. The Printer of Never Jamming – What’s better than a mythical magic item like a printer that never jams? A quest to seek out such a glorious artifact! You can have IT create a dungeon of unspeakable technological horrors that one has to beat to find the printer, spoken in prophecy, to never jam. It’s even better if the object has a name and a backstory, “Printladriandor was created by Xeroxian Elf Master Smiths in the Golden Age of Printing, but war broke out between the Materialists and the Digitalists. A curse was cast on all the printers to forever jam except Printladriandor, but it was lost…”
3. Rousing Speeches – Why just use mundane language around the office like, “I’m going to the bank,” or “does anyone want Jimmy John’s for lunch?” Rousing speeches can be used to spice up any old boring workday, and they’re even better if you yell all the lines. “Employees of Alfred Alfred and Alfred Tax Firm here me out. I’m about to embark on a perilous journey from which I may never return. But rest assured that I will deposit our accounts receivables, and there will be payroll this Friday! We may be battered and broken from this tax season. Our fingers may be bleeding and Tony on the war drums got COVID, but they can never kill our spirit! Never take our minds! Never crush our hearts. HIZZZZZAAAAAA! Also, who wants Jimmy John’s for lunch? I was gonna stop there after the bank.”
4. Ritual Magic – Nothing makes team building like robes, occult symbols, and demonic dead languages. Summoning an ancient power to smite your enemies at H&R Block can really liven up those doldrums at work. It can even turn into an experience that will bond people for life when Carol from HR gets possessed by the ancient evil and starts killing everyone. The survivors will never forget that day when they meddled in powers they couldn’t possibly comprehend.
5. Bring an Orc to Work Day – Think of all the fun the office will have when battle lines are drawn between the bloodthirsty Tolkien orcs versus the more humanized and could even be Lawful Good Paladin orcs of DnD. You could have your own siege of Helm’s Deep at the office but with orcs on both sides of the battle line!
6. Epic Coming of Age Quest for the Intern – If you ever find yourself impaled by a trident or skewered by an arrow, use your dying breaths to charge the intern with a quest that will surely end up deciding the fate of the entire world. Bonus if you can start with something innocuous that eventually leads to the fate of the entire world hanging in the balance like, “Find tax code 403b…” Even better if tax code 403b is in the dusty vault of the intern’s father who died long ago in mysterious circumstances.
7. A Hero Forged in Tragedy – Why send strongly worded letters to villages who aren’t paying their taxes when you can burn the entire village and slay everyone in it? Don’t forget to leave one child alive who will grow up to be the greatest tax lawyer the world has ever known.
