Recall, gentle reader, that I promised you the tale of the Trampoline of Doom. Here is that tale. It's a short one. More like a encyclopedic entry in the Great Big Book of Items of Doom than anything else.

I came across it while I was in California for a wedding*. My entire extended family and I had rented a Very Spiffy House in Santa Barbara for the occasion. If you have not been to California or to Santa Barbara or met my family, I highly recommend it. All of these things offer a wide variety of activities. Below is a photo journal of such things.

Well, mostly I just played a lot of pool. I considered a photo montage of all of the days and times my sister took photos of my playing pool, but it wasn't really interesting to anyone but the pool table's mother. So you get just one.

maggie billiards 3
I also shopped for dresses for the ALA Printz event in June. Like an adult. Like a normal adult woman. I was shopping like a pro.

maggie the model 4

Uh, no, I didn't buy anything.

I also did some research for the sequel to THE RAVEN BOYS. This is the Chumash Painted Cave, which dates from the 1600s "or something." I'm paraphrasing from the historic marker.


Then I did more research by going to see one of the country's largest fig trees.

maggie and the giant fig 2

No. I don't think you get it. I said one of the country's Largest. Capital L.

Fig Tree, Santa Barbara

I also enjoyed senselessly unending sunshine and aggressively beautiful landscapes from the front yard of our rental.


Which is where I found the Trampoline of Doom.

trampoline cropped

Let me break this down for you, what you're seeing.


That's right, it's an in-ground trampoline, designed for safety. You can't jump off and tangle your limbs in anything except grass. Pretty brilliant. Also, you could hide bodies in the pit underneath it. That's a free bonus suggestion right there. Anyway, it's the paragon of safety. Until you zoom out.


Let me break down THIS scene for you.


That's right. This trampoline, far from being a paragon of safety, is actually a way to get rid of unwanted children. Tired of bad grades? Disappointing skin tone? Substandard room cleaning action? Simply tell them to go out to play on the trampoline and your problem is solved! Needless to say,

Thing 1 and Thing 2 mostly swam in the pool.[image error]
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Published on May 11, 2012 15:32 • 684 views
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message 1: by Kaci (new)

Kaci Woah who would put a trampoline that close to a CLIFF. I probably wouldn't even have stepped on it. Pretty view by the way. :)

message 2: by Ruby (new)

Ruby Replogle wow.. what a great idea! NOT. I can imagine someone just stepping on it by accident and being flung off the cliff. :/

message 3: by Sara (new)

Sara Ha,ha,ha,ha. That is hilarious. Really. I have to ask.....What kind of idiot would put a trampoline there!, but what we should be asking is, what kind of idiot would use it?

message 4: by Paula (new)

Paula  from Reading Lark dd8 says she would jump on that, not even from a distance. ;)

Brooke (The Cover Contessa) Wow, great pictures! Strange place for a trampoline, tho!

message 6: by Alexis (new)

Alexis Ball My thoughts as i saw the pictures: Omg.... Wow... Oh gosh... That's a big tree... Smart idea..... Oh, mayyyyyyyybbbbbeeee not.

message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

Hahaha! It's a brilliant idea! Love the pictures, by the way.

message 8: by Amanda (new)

Amanda OMG, hilarious.

message 9: by Jennifer (new)

Jennifer I think I peed myself laughing so hard at your drawings and.description of the death toy :)

message 10: by Katie (new)

Katie Alexis wrote: "My thoughts as i saw the pictures: Omg.... Wow... Oh gosh... That's a big tree... Smart idea..... Oh, mayyyyyyyybbbbbeeee not."

HAHA! oh i know! i was thinking the same thing!

message 11: by [deleted user] (new)

someone must have thought it was such a CONVENIENT thing to put in there but man, that trampoline's a killer.

message 12: by Janet (new)

Janet I absolutely love your pics and 'your' time in Santa Barbara. The surprise ending was too funny.

message 13: by Simplyminali (new)

Simplyminali great outfit

message 14: by Evie (new)

Evie This has to be the greatest blog post ever! :) lol

message 15: by Simplyminali (new)

Simplyminali i agree. its so fun!

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Maggie Stiefvater

Maggie Stiefvater
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