Expulsion, a Hyperion/Kaylee story

I set up "Expulsion" (currently 7000 words) to be a Hyperion and Kaylee story. I specifically made sure everyone else in the Universe was busy elsewhere so the two of them would be forced to solve the problem by themselves.

And then I got bogged down. I knew what scenes I needed, but they weren't working. The flow was choppy and I couldn't get the right repartee going between the main characters, which usually isn't an issue. Kaylee and Hyperion riffing off each other usually makes me very happy.

It took a while to realize that a lot of what the reader needed to know (if we remove the requirement they've read the novels) was already known by the two protagonists. They had no reason to mention any of it. Attempting to do so came out with data dumps of the "As you know, Bob" variety.

Kevin turned out to be the solution. He's never appeared on the page before although he's been mentioned by reference in both of the novels. He's quite fond of Kaylee, which makes both Kaylee's mom and Hyperion suspicious of him.

I added him to the narrative (shoe-horned him in, to be honest), much to Kaylee's delight and Hyperion's annoyance. Being an unknown variable made most of the explanations feel more natural, the repartee worked significantly better, and I got to write one of my favorite scenes in recent days, which takes place after an accidental slip-up reveals Hyperion's ability to talk.

Kaylee has to go off for a minute and leaves Kevin and Hyperion to "get to know each other."

Hyperion takes the lead:

"But for right now, let’s deal with the most important issue. Kevin, if that is your name, what are your intentions towards my daughter?”