What? What? What?

What? What? What?

So I read Chuck Palahniuk’s writing book, Consider This, over the holidays and I was highly befuddled.

1) He goes on book tours. What even are those?

2) His editor plants him near influential people to get promo opportunities. My editors couldn’t pick me out of a police lineup to bail my ass out of jail (not that I have opportunities to land myself in jail…see #1 and #3…and not that they would bail me out even if I were to be in jail).

3) His Italian/French/foreign publishers (his what now?) conspire to give him surreal and exciting experiences while he’s visiting them. Does it seem like every author I know has multiple language editions of their books besides me? Yes. Do authors really get to fly to the different countries to meet those publishing teams? Apparently also yes.

Mr. Palahniul inhabits an alternate publishing world that I can’t possibly get to from my reality, for better or worse.

All joking aside, it’s actually a highly readable and helpful book on the writing craft and life. I plan to take some of his advice to heart…and hope the physics of writing works as well in my universe as it does in his.