doodlin’ in the new year

(just an art journal doodle to keep my pen loose)

i used to have a bumper sticker that said, “i do whatever the little voices tell me to do.”

yup.

that’s how i ended up in wisconsin after years of living in kentucky & texas. 

now the little voices are telling me to quit my job. while my logical brain insists we need the income, the little voices tell me to take a leap of faith. my job is basically so i don’t drown in credit card debt. it’s restaurant work; something that i am amazingly gifted at, but find no joy in. should i do something just because i am good at it? should i stay at a job because i know it will suck for them if i leave even though they never tell me how awesome i am?

actually, based on my experience at this job, i have decided that from now on if i have been in any kind of relationship for a month—be it professional or romantic, etc—and have not been told “you are amazing; i am so lucky to have you,” then i need to move on.

i could go into all the hows & why my job sucks despite the decent pay & “laid back” working conditions. i mean, i come home nights exhausted & so pissed off at the drama of it, but the real reason i’m quitting, is because my soul dies a little every day that i put my energy into something other than my own dreams. 

i need to follow my own dreams.

i need to figure out a way to make money that doesn’t make me die on the inside….

i am reminded of when i was 18 and my dad, who was close to 50 & trying to talk me out of being a writer, told me how he had wanted to be a farmer but had to make sacrifices in order to support himself & his family thereby choosing a soul-sucking job that left him a shell of a person. to this i said, “it’s not too late, dad.”
to myself now i say, “it’s not too late, emje.” 

in other news, i have a novel being published in the very near future (little skeletons), and i have started working on another novel (working title… apocalyptic mama: how to survive the end of the world)

i am still working on comics. i post pages here as i finish them. saint nobody as well as a reboot of confusion perfume.

and i am going to use any free time to look for an opportunity to work close up in regenerative agriculture &/or food forestry because i totally want to be a farmer too. 

finally, i made a pledge early on in 2023 that i would donate 10% of my art & writing sales to 360.org. however, since no one really seemed to respond to that & because i recently tried to read something by bill mckibben & got pissed off, i decided to donate the 10% to a local environmental cause instead. i sold $775 in art & writings, so i am donating $77.50 to the coon creek conservation watershed committee which is a cause that effects me very close to my home & to my heart. 

i have always believed that resolutions should happen every day, but sometimes they happen to happen at the new year….

ps. 10% of 2024 sales will again be donated to an environmental cause of my choosing.