Text and Subtext 34: Crypt of Dark Secrets

There are some bad 70s and 80s movies that we’re thankful have been made, (because we like our junkfood, oh yes we do) and then there are some which we wonder how did these get made? Crypt of Dark Secrets belongs in the latter category. I’m pretty sure it didn’t have any real actors in it at all.

Anyway, there’s this Army Ranger, and he lives on an island in a swamp in Louisanna, and some thieves kill him to get his retirement money, and then Dambala brings the Army Ranger back to life by making out with him, and then there are voo-doo dolls, curses, backstory, and this one naked chick (Dambala) dancing over and over again. If that sort of thing sounds like a good time, check it out on Tubi.