In Life is Self-reliance more Important than Mutual Encouragement?
Why do we even need to ask the question?
In the western world we’ve made a virtue of independence, self-reliance, and self-sufficiency. In some ways these virtues have served us well by enabling us to avoid getting stuck in a rut dug by clinging to out-moded cultural mores. They help many to launch out into life without clinging to their parents. They have energized explorers and inventors.
But we are not meant to live as independent islands of self-reliance. For many of us, Christmas has again demonstrated to us the blessing of families. For me, at this advanced stage of life, my children and grandchildren have often been there when I needed their help.
And yet, we often run into this misplaced spirit of independence, especially in those who have lived productive lives but now come to an age when receiving help is irksome. We have a friend who needs help very badly, but every time we try to offer help, she feels the need to pay for it in some way. It’s as if she cannot conceive of the concept of grace, “freely you have received, freely give.” She seems to avoid asking her kids for help.
This concept of giving and receiving grace is meant to permeate the church. Let me apply this concept in what may seem a strange way, by asking why so many professing Christians act as if they are independent islands of self-reliance? Are individual Christians meant to be isolated? Let’s take the example of one of the strongest Christians we read about in the New Testament and see what he says.
In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul sent Tychicus to the church so that “you may know how we are [and what I am doing] and that he may encourage you” (Eph. 6:21,22). Paul wanted news of the Ephesians so he could be encouraged and so they, in turn, could be encouraged.
In his letter to the Philippians, Paul wrote, “I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you…Epaproditis…he longs for you also and is distressed because you heard he was ill…so that you may be glad” (See Phil. 2: 19-30) Paul recognized his need to be cheered by news from that church—and for them to be encouraged.
In writing to the Colossians, Paul wrote, “Tychicus…a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. I am sending him to you for the express purpose that you may know about our circumstances and that he may encourage your hearts…with Onesimus…they will tell you everything that is happening here” (Col. 4:7-9).
Paul goes on to describe how, “My fellow prisoner Aristarchus” is being sent after being a comfort to him as one who is “wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured…he is working hard for you” Then he mentions Luke, the doctor and others while asking that this letter be read also in Laodicea. (See Col. 4:10-17.)
Paul spent a whole chapter of Romans (16) listing dozens of helpers. If Paul needed co-workers, if Paul needed encouragement from other believers, who are we to think that we don’t? The church is meant to be, not only a place of worship, but a place where we gather with other believers to imbibe hope and joy and love from our brothers and sisters. God never meant us to be islands!
Isolated or connected? Hearing about how God is dealing with one another or the silence of living alone or only with our spouse? Encouragement from each other or stolid “stiff upper lip,” “I don’t need anyone,” “I’ve got it all together?” The answer is self-evident unless we are blinded by some exalted opinion of ourselves.
“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Heb. 10: 24,25).
