What a year!
One of the goals I set for 2023 was to carve out more intentional, one-on-one time with each of our princesses. In just a few short weeks, we’ll have a 13, 14, 15, and 16-year-old, and I realize that kinda time is running out fast. So, on my calendar they went! I wanted some time with them away from the home, away from their sisters, and to simply be able to listen to them, pray with them, and talk about whatever they wanted to talk about.
Sometimes, they’d join me on trips to lunch with pastors, which they liked to remind me didn’t count, so we’d grab a sweet treat after, coffee before, or something like that. Other times, they’d get to pick where I took them on a “date,” or I’d really set the bar high for their future husband and take ‘em out to Taco Bell or Wendy’s. My favorite, of course, was taking each of them to games at the Ag Barn in Arlington.
Pastor, your name plate may say “senior pastor,” “youth pastor,” or whatever, but that is not your first ministry. Your first ministry is in the home and I encourage you to find ways for them to do ministry with you, 100%, but also some time to get away from it all and enjoy some one-on-one time with those you love. There’ll be seasons when a crisis hits or a building campaign starts or something wild has to take your attention away from the fam. Never ideal, but it happens…and that’s okay, for a short time. They can handle stints like that WHEN they are well loved, appreciated, and cared for during the normal seasons. Don’t neglect your family!
Aaaaand the reverse is true. They might be your first ministry, and they are, but you’re still called to pastor your church. There’ll be seasons when a family member needs a little extra TLC like a tough diagnosis or sickness or a wedding or whatever. It’s much easier for your church to understand (and maybe even appreciate) your above-and-beyond care for them during those seasons when you haven’t abused that all the time. Don’t neglect your ministry!
In other words, there’s a balance to be had between not sacrificing your family on the altar of ministry, and not sacrificing your ministry on the altar of family. And pssssst, you will never perfectly balance them! That’s okay, but if one or the other is regularly neglected, brother, you. will. not. make. it.
So, for 2024, (just an idea of what works for me) consider throwing each child on your calendar each month and your wife each week. Place them on days you don’t typically have things scheduled, of course, and do your best to protect those days! What you do on those days doesn’t even have to cost a dime. You could grab a soda from the fridge and take 'em out for a long drive to talk or a walk to the park, but regularly give your wife and children some one-on-one time!
However you do it, whatever would work for you, or whatever you do––find ways to make sure your entire family knows they matter in 2024. Because they do.
