On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me a partridge in a pear tree

Actually, if that happened they (the partridge in a pear tree) would probably end up in the garage where they would never be seen again. That’s fine. I detest pears. The cats would probably eat the partridge or vice versa.

My wife and I got books, candy, calendars, and plush throws for those chilly Georgia nights. These we can use, along with new lamps for the master and guest bedrooms. When we had multiple cats, they played in the pile of used wrapping paper. Last night when we opened gifts, our indoor/outdoor cat was asleep in the bedroom and our 25-year-old calico no longer cares about it (the paper).

Our decorations usually go up late and stay up through Twelfth Night when my wife is supposed to give me twelve drummers drumming. Well, more for the garage. Of course, it’s bad luck to leave the decorations up after Twelfth Night. Personally, I think it shows a lack of taste to throw the Christmas tree out for the trash truck late on December 25th.

I’m fairly traditional about this, following the Christmastide schedule as noted in Wikipedia: “In 567 the Council of Tours proclaimed that the entire period between Christmas and Epiphany should be considered part of the celebration, creating what became known as the twelve days of Christmas, or what the English called Christmastide. On the last of the twelve days, called Twelfth Night, various cultures developed a wide range of additional special festivities. The variation extends even to the issue of how to count the days. If Christmas Day is the first of the twelve days, then Twelfth Night would be on January 5, the eve of Epiphany. If December 26, the day after Christmas, is the first day, then Twelfth Night falls on January 6, the evening of Epiphany itself.”

One of the deathly hallows

This year, I added a new element to the Christmastide festivities called falling off the step ladder while putting up with lighted garland around the front door. That resulted in a headache and now a sore place where my head it the deck. I do not intend for this to become a new tradition.

My wife and I have sinus conditions that make us dizzy at times, so I told my wife not to put up the garland alone because she might fall off the deathly hallow. I guess it figures that I’d be the one calling off the ladder.

For your own safety, do not introduce any step ladders into your Christmas celebrations.

I hope your Christmas is happy, merry, and bright–and safe!

–Malcolm