A Christmas Story: Not a Jolly Tale for Everyone

It’s Christmas Eve and it’s got me feeling some kind of way. I’ve never really been big on the holiday, even as a kid, it always stressed me out. I hated having to open presents in front of everyone. I don’t know why but it stressed me out. I remember asking one year if I could just take all the presents to my room to open.

There are some questions that I hate around the holidays mostly because people don’t like my answers. It seems to baffle people’s minds that I have zero plans for Christmas. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow so my plans to hit up Universal are likely shot but I’m also a-okay with getting some stuff done around the house with my bonus day off.

There’s also the question of what movies to watch around the holidays. I’m pretty sure I’ve covered it before- Krampus is my go-to Christmas Eve movie.

For many people, the perennial favorite is “A Christmas Story.” However, for some of us, the mere thought of this film brings back memories of a time when the holiday spirit was far from heartwarming.

It’s not so much the movie itself, but rather the painful associations it holds. 

For those fortunate enough to still have cable, TNT’s 24-hour Christmas Story marathon is a staple of the holiday season. It’s a continuous loop of the same film, playing from 8 pm on Christmas Eve until 8 pm on Christmas Day. If that sounds like a cinematic nightmare, you’re not alone in thinking so. Our former stepfather, in all his questionable glory, insisted that this movie be the soundtrack to our Christmas celebrations—watched nearly all 12 times throughout the marathon.

Now, it’s essential to clarify (again) that my aversion to the movie isn’t a commentary on its quality. I’m sure it’s charming and delightful for families whose memories aren’t tainted by the presence of a wildly narcissistic mother and an abusive stepfather. The truth is, we associate “A Christmas Story” with the toxic environment we found ourselves in during those years. It’s a painful reminder of a time when safety and joy were elusive concepts.

Anyone who has experienced trauma knows that certain triggers can transport you back to those dark moments. For me, it’s not just this movie; it’s certain songs, TV shows, and even books that we can’t bear to engage with. These are the emotional landmines that transport us back to a place and time where fear overshadowed festivities.

Now, you might find it intriguing (or perhaps alarming) that my go-to Christmas Eve movie is “Krampus.” Yes, the dark and fantastical tale of a Christmas demon wreaking havoc on a dysfunctional family is my Yuletide comfort. Psychologists, feel free to analyze that one. Perhaps it’s my way of reclaiming the holiday spirit with a touch of twisted humor—a cathartic counterbalance to the saccharine sweetness of more traditional Christmas fare.

So, as the debates over which Christmas movie to watch rage on in living rooms across the country, spare a thought for those of us whose holiday traditions come with a side of trauma. If you’re ever tempted to question our unconventional choices, just remember that sometimes, the most healing holiday moments are found in the unexpected and the unconventional.