“And we’ve got some perfectly frightful presents.”

44. My True Love Gave to Me – Eric Weiner

There are so many boys who could be pranking Holly Dunn and ruining her Christmas with vague threats and copious near death experiences. She’s going out with Jeffrey, who she doesn’t know well enough to trust. She used to go out with Danny, who left the country. She refused to date Billy, who acted like the class clown who can’t be serious and got really angry about her not taking him seriously when he really only demonstrates no one can take him seriously. Then there’s Rick and Kevin and Steve. So, it’s understandable when she doesn’t know who is killing people around her and dressing it up like the “Twelve Days of Christmas.” If only she’d been a bit more unpopular with the dudes, she could have figured it out earlier.

 

Hen Wen’s true love, Salem, is leading with his nose instead of thematically appropriate presents. Guinea pigs don’t really seem to care about presents. Produce, yes, presents, no.