Three ways to create a better-feeling life
In Monday’s post I wrote about the 10:1 ratio. It takes 10 positive comments to offset one negative.
Think about this with your kids. Every time you say something negative or critical, it takes 10 more positives to buffer their psyche, according to educators.
It’s just as important to find the pros in the workplace and in the home and in yourself. So, make it part of your day. Create an adventure around catching the good in your life – and you’re bound to experience a shift in mood and attitude. Plus, you’re going to feel better.
Three practices to find the positive charge in life
Notice what is working. Every time we pick up the newspaper we see what isn’t working. When we talk to friends, we often get into our gripes or frustrations.
Instead, flip your experience around by seeing what you do like, then figure out why. If you are struck by a beautiful painting, dissect the brushstrokes, and colors, and artistic inspiration that may enhance its beauty. Immerse yourself in the experience of noticing the painting.
This morning, I woke up feeling peaceful and good. So, I explored that feeling – what was it about this particular moment that was making me feel so good? I realized that I was warm and knew that my husband had gotten up early to turn on the heat. That realization led to feelings of gratitude for him and a whole other wave of good feeling.
This is not hard. When you catch what is working, when you bury yourself in the goodness, it usually leads you down the track toward other good things. Try it.
Compliment yourself and others. Give yourself compliments, out loud. Not kidding. If you think you look hot, got to the mirror and say it to yourself with a big smile on your face. If you are inspired by something someone says, tell them so. In fact, seek out one positive thing in everyone you interact with – no matter who it is – and draw attention to it. Declare it. Even the most difficult people have talents and tendencies that we can learn from and even enjoy.
Seek them out. If a person is particularly difficult, or perhaps always complaining –heck, there’s a talent right there: they have an ability to express themselves. Notice it, compliment it.
Pause to enjoy. The more attention you give to the good things in life the more your good feelings will expand. Once, you’ve spotted a positive and complimented it or declared it to yourself or others, just pause for a moment to take it all in. My morning coffee is one of my favorite things in life. And this morning when I was feeling so calm and cared for, I stopped, took a sip of coffee, and just experienced that moment fully.
Take a few moments at different times all throughout your day to slow down and hone in on something good – big or small – and just appreciate it. The practice is so powerful you’ll be inspired to constantly seek out the good stuff just so that you can feel those positive feelings bubble up.
Photo by: Stock.xchng
