Monday Notes: Why I Threw Myself a Book Release Brunch

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Monday Notes: Why I Threw Myself a Book Release Brunch

I threw myself a book release brunch because I knew no one else was going to do it. I don’t mean this in a woe is me sort of fashion. I mean this in an I know who I’m dealing with kind of way. For example, my sister is very generous. She will give me money if I don’t ask for it. She will give me money if I do ask for it. But what she does not have the time or bandwidth to do is to plan a book release party. So, I didn’t ask or expect it. My husband will exert all his energy to create a milestone birthday in another country; he will plan a surprise trip for the two of us to another state. But what he may or may not do is plan a way to celebrate a major accomplishment. That’s just not who he is.

I have also surrounded myself with a lot of people who I call friends. My friends are familiar with one another but not enough to collaborate and organize an event. Furthermore, friends of mine seem to have one thing in common: they are introverts. They are not the sort of people who want to be at parties, much less plan them.

However, this project was special to me, and I knew I wanted to have an event. So, I planned one myself.

The Date: My publisher had set Tuesday, September 26, 2023, as the release date, so I went backwards from there. But even that required care. My anniversary date is September 21st, so I had to carefully balance celebrating 27 years of marriage with releasing one of the most important books I’ve written. I decided my husband and I would celebrate Friday and Saturday. The release would be on Sunday, September 24th.

The Venue: Where should I have this event? Should I rent a hall with a microphone? Should guests be served fancy dishes on white tablecloths? Nah. I decided to have it at Silkie’s Chicken and Champagne Bar. Chef Kenny Gilbert once cooked for Oprah on Thanksgiving, and she went on and on about it (as only Oprah can do). Gilbert’s restaurant was the perfect place because it is intimate, the food is good, and there’s something to be said about six degrees of separation. I mean, if Gilbert can cook a holiday meal for Oprah, who says I can’t be conjuring a conversation with the woman? Anything can literally happen, and I’m in a space of believing impossible things, so Silkie’s it was.

The Guests: I was very selective about who I invited. This was a growth move. In the past, I would’ve invited any and every person I’d ever encountered, in the spirit of promoting a book. But this wasn’t about book promotion. I invited people who fit one of the following qualifications: the person had to have positively influenced my life in the past or present, the person had to have been externally supportive of me in the past or the present, or the person had to possess an understanding of this project that transcended current culture. That’s a mouthful, I know. But it worked. I sent out 10 invites and allowed them a plus one.

The Documentation: Based on past events, I knew a photographer was mandatory. I wanted attendees to relax, to not worry about who took the best selfie or group photo, to not worry about sending photos and videos to me or one another. I wanted a professional to document this special event, so I hired the same woman who did my latest headshots. Her name is Mariia, and her work is amazing.

The Result: My sister flew in for the day, and yes, she tried to pay for everything, but quickly found out there was no need. I asked my husband to stay home because I didn’t want his presence or people’s (valid) concern about his wellbeing to overshadow the point and purpose. Fifteen people attended, including my daughters. Some guests brought my favorite celebratory drink or flowers, and one of my mentors, who couldn’t attend, had the most beautiful bird of paradise arrangement sent as a congratulations.

Throughout the years, I’ve gone back-and-forth on whether it is okay to celebrate yourself or if you should wait and expect others to do it. Here’s my final answer to date: if you want to be celebrated, it is okay to do that yourself. It can be as elaborate as a book release brunch catered by a celebrity chef, or it can be you having an appetizer and glass of Prosecco by yourself to say, “Job well done.” Either way, there is nothing wrong with taking time out to pat yourself on the back.