How To Evoke a Sense of Being in Your Readers #MondayBlogs

I have invited author and blogger Ritu Bhathal on my blog today to talk about one of her many writing talents – bringing scenes to life. Ritu’s books will always be a memorable read for me as her descriptions of places and settings are so vivid and colourful. Reading one of Ritu’s books is like peering through a kaleidoscope. I wanted Ritu to come and tell us her secrets. Ha ha!

She’s also a fantastic blogger and you should check her out.

Thank you for inviting me over, Lucy, to have a little chat about description in writing with your readers. And hello to everyone reading!

Now, the lovely Lucy invited me over because she always comments on how I describe the places I write about.

Back in the old days, as a novice writer, I would cover the basics; you know, the ‘Who, What, Where, When, How’ (WWWWH) of a scene. Take this one below. My books have a lot of India in them, as well as the UK.

I went to visit the temple in Amritsar yesterday with my friends.

But the most common feedback I got was ‘We want/need more!’

As I sat and tweaked the relevant scenes, it occurred to me that it isn’t always the WWWWH that is needed. Rather, as writers,  we need to plug into our senses. 

In order to evoke the feeling of being somewhere, to immerse our readers into the scene we are writing, and to create atmosphere, we need to think of those five senses; Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch (SSSTT). 

And, I guess, that is right. 

For many of our readers, books are like armchair travel. 

Pick up a book and you can be transported anywhere you like. A bonus for those who are likely to never reach certain far-flung corners of the world. Equally, describing a setting can bring back memories for people who have been where you are writing about. 

So that above sentence. Let’s rewrite it. 

I’m using a passage from my first novel Marriage Unarranged, rearranging some parts, to add the different senses into a shorter passage, where Aashi, her brothers and their friends, visit the Golden Temple in India. I know many who read my books will have been there already, so I need to be true to the feeling you get when you visit this sacred place. I am also aware of many readers who haven’t, and will never go there, so I need to make this feel as if the readers are there, with the characters, so they can fully immerse themselves within the scene.

Aashi and the others stepped intp the hallowed grounds of Harmandir Sahib, the Golden Temple. 

It never failed to render her speechless, no matter how many times she came here. The first view of the shimmering temple, rising out of the sarovar surrounding the gurdwara was a sight to be seen. She hadn’t ever been this early when the night sky was still an inky black. The temple glowed, lit up with thousands of light bulbs, illuminated for the special day that was Vaisakhi. The reflections of the lights twinkling on the surface of the surrounding water in the sarovar made it look like the temple was floating in the night sky.

She pressed both her hands together at this first sight, and whispered, “Waheguru-ji, Satnaam-ji” as she had always been taught to say upon entering any gurdwara.

Around her, the others were also quiet, soaking in the spiritual serenity this place emanated. They were engulfed  by thousands of worshippers, yet there was a respectful silence, except for whispered prayers and the low murmurs of kirtan that could be heard, as the priests sang hymns in the main darbar worship hall.

The smell of incense mingled with the sweet aroma of kara prasad, the sacred sweet pudding, that they queued to buy, as a token of gratitude to be offered when they paid their respects.

Aashi had to giggle when she saw Kiran playfully slap Bali’s hand away from the prasad. “Oh My God!” she whispered. “Can you not wait? We can eat ours soon, but we have to matha tekh first!”

Bali groaned. “I’m hungry, though! You woke me up at the crack of dawn to get here, and I didn’t eat anything.” He looked down at the small bowl in his hand, and licked his lips. “It’s like I can already taste the sweet, buttery goodness.”

“Well, you’re going to have to hang on. We’ll go to the langar hall soon, for food, too.” Kiran rolled her eyes, but a smile played across her lips.

It was a long wait and a slow walk down the aisle. On either side, they were surrounded by the water of the sarovar. Arjun had heard about the giant koi, hundreds of them, which lived in the water. He glanced at them, gulping air at the surface before swimming away. They were huge. Arjun managed to capture a few shots, not sure how they would turn out, with the darkness.

One thing I like to use as one of my tools, is the reactions of characters to further deepen the feel of a place. I like to talk. My characters do, too! Hence the dialogue part.

I could go on, and on. Describing a full visit to the Golden Temple in Amritsar could take several posts, and I don’t want to overstay my welcome!

I hope I have managed to give you a little insight into how I try and evoke a sense of being for the readers of my stories.

Thank you, again, Lucy, for letting me whitter on about part of my writing process!

Here’s a link to Ritu’s wonderful books

Click here to enter Ritu’s auction promise.