Healing Each other, Healing Ourselves

I’m miles and miles beyond where I was in the beginning of my healing.

I’m past the highest point I thought was even possible! For a long time, getting & staying sober was as lofty as my longings could get.

But each time I was able to make a breakthrough and change, and grow in my capacity to love people and listen to them and be caring toward them, I’d think “hey, I’m pretty ok at this!”

I came to love myself. And when I love myself, I’m a lot more at ease about other people. So it’s a positively reinforcing cycle. I couldn’t love myself when I was focused only on my feelings and MY hurts. I had to step up. 

This is when my spirituality went from a vague idea into the very source of strength I needed to hang in there with the changes I was making.

I’d have trudging periods where I was trying and trying, and not seeming to get anywhere. And then I’d have periodic bursts of healing. And it continues to this day, more love for others, more love for myself, more love for the fact that I’m alive, and for that Power that created me and that animates me and all living things around me — and the rocks and clouds too!

We’re all in this together. I’m part of it, and you are too. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. You have precious intrinsic worth and you are worthy to be loved. And, if you’re like every person alive, especially those of us with Childhood PTSD, you may sometimes be a little hard to love.

That’s what we do in our tough moments — we push people away. But we also heal and love and flourish. So don’t get too wrapped up in the struggle, don’t go hating yourself over mistakes and things you can’t help.

Keep your eyes on who you aim to be, and keep working on it. Be honest with yourself, be persistent and do your best every day.

B