I have a new respect for those forced to be on gluten-free diets

I was initially skeptical of the rush by so many people to remove gluten from their diets.  On one hand, it’s part of a new diet fad. For another, going gluten-free makes meals more expensive while taking away nutrients required for a balanced diet.

But then when I was tested to see if I had Celiac disease as part of this many-month-long attempt by doctors to find out what was causing my apparent stomach infection, I was happy to see that I don’t have the disease. For one thing, there’s no cure except for getting rid of gluten. For another, if I had a Celiac problem and went on a gluten-free diet immediately, it might take a couple of years to feel the results.

Having to monitor my food for any trace of gluten–often from unexpected sources–would drive me nuts–like monitoring my diet for any trace of nuts. The people who have to keep either out of their diets have enough trouble with planning meals and looking at ingredients in processed foods, much less the miserable experience at a restaurant where servers often have no idea whether the “bad stuff” is in the food or not.

As I waited for the results of the test, I thought about all the consequences of having Celiac and turning into one of those people who has to look at everything they eat through a microscope. I’ve always been able to eat almost anything, so being about to eat a small portion of that anything would have been quite a chore.

Due to the workings of Murphy’s law, developing a pill to combat the negative impact of gluten for those who shouldn’t have it, the result would probably be something bad. Lactaid seems to work but if a product called Gluteaide came along, the side effects would probably be fatal–or worse.

I tried Lactaid (just in case) and nothing bad happened. Yet I always worry that there’s a catcher in the rye–in addition to the gluten.

–Malcolm

Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of magical realism novels set in the Florida Panhandle.