Book Review for The Definition of Beautiful: A Memoir by Charlotte Bellows
I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.
The Definition of Beauty, by Charlotte Bellows, is a dark memoir about the struggles of fighting an eating disorder. Bellows illustrates how tempting it is to listen to an addiction whispering in your mind, rather than your loved ones, even though they’re the ones that planted the addiction in your mind. Bellows details her painful journey, from seemingly harmless conversations with her mother and father, to her painful friendships between herself, Anne, and Jade, and even the subtler hits, that caused Bellows’s disorder to develop as horrifically as it did. Despite this, Bellows also goes into detail tiny sparks of light that helped her find her way, and how she was able to piece together what others could not.
Eating disorders can be very seductive. Thoughts and emotions pin you into a corner psychologically, emotionally, and finally physically. I like how Bellows compares her disorder with an abusive partner. It’s all summed up in this sentiment, where she says that he’s all she had, despite him being the enemy. I loved how there were times Bellows’s point-of-view was intertwined with ED’s, and I felt all the frustration I felt as a reader for Bellows seemingly putting herself in that situation, even though ED also played a role in torturing her. Moreover, I liked how, towards the end of the book, we actually see what ED has become, just as Bellows starts to recover.
The book reminds me of yet another book called Reviving Ophelia: Reviving the Selves of Adolescent Girls. It discusses how family, school, and other environments that we may think are safe for adolescent girls are actually the most dangerous for their self-esteem. Bellows perfectly illustrates how, when it comes to eating disorders or any other addiction, there doesn’t have to be this all encompassing traumatic event where our loved ones are all either gone or we’ve alienated ourselves from them. We’re like contortionists in that manner; the world tells us what to do, and we try to twist our ways that are unnatural, if only to gain the approval of everyone else. Who cares if we’re dancing skeletons at the end of it? Anything, just to give everyone else what they want.
I absolutely enjoyed this book. I appreciated the candor Bellows was able to bring, as well as the almost hypnotizing tone she delivers to her audience. As such, I would like to give this book a 5 out of 5 stars, and would recommend it with other books such as the aforementioned Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher and Untangled by Lisa Damour.
