War Diary: How Do You Cope?
Pictures of the hostages on a sign to buy local Israeli productsThe television news is on. The news is always on. Rockets, sirens. Asoldier's death. Scenes of destruction in Gaza. Scenes of destruction in thekibbutzim. The wounded. Unfathomable terror. The hostages.Panelists discuss the issues. There are no answers.
Doomscrolling a Facebook news feed. Memes, links to articles.Descriptions of antisemitic marches and attacks on Jews worldwide. Fund-raisingefforts and rallies of support. Tales of the victims. The hostages.
People ask me if I'm OK, but none of us are OK. My son and son-in-laware too old to serve in the army reserves and we don't personally know any ofthe victims, but with rockets flying overhead, and the bombings in Gaza as wellas rocket interceptions over Tel Aviv audible from our home, this is all verypersonal.
So, how do you cope? How can you manage these unmanageable days?Everyone has their own survival guide. This is mine, in no particular order.
Exercise – start the day very early with a 5-kilometer run in thegym.
Work – carry on with a regular routine by working remotely andconducting meetings on Teams and Skype.
Read – buy countless books from Amazon. Lately I've read TheHeaven & Earth Grocery Story by James McBride; The Searcher byTana French; The Lamplighters by Emma Stonex; and The Making ofAnother Major Motion Picture Masterpiece, a novel by Tom Hanks.
Write – while I haven't been able to write fiction, I havewritten occasional journal entries telling what it's like living through a war.And I recently wrote reviews of two short story collections – East Jerusalem Noir and West Jerusalem Noir.
Volunteer – I've joined the civil guard on Neve Ilan, servingshifts at the main gate. While I'm not guarding with a gun, I am stopping carsdriving in, asking the identity of unfamiliar faces, and hopefully providing adeterrent to anyone suspicious coming into my community.
Guard duty at the moshav gateBinge – Netflix plays a major role in our evenings, and wegenerally watch limited series, an episode every night. Recently we've seen 'Liveto 100, Secrets of the Blue Zone'; 'Wellmania'; and 'Painkiller'. Currentlywe're watching 'All the Light We Cannot See'.
Laugh – Occasionally we'll watch a Stephen Colbert openingmonologue, Saturday Night Live skits on YouTube, or a Taylor Tomlinson stand-upspecial.
Listen to music – at the gym, in the car. Loud music to drown outeverything and quiet music to chill.
Listen to podcasts –True crime, science, Bulgarian history, and aweekly episode of 'Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me!'
Be thankful for family – babysitting when we're needed and aFriday night Shabbat dinner to keep us close to our loved ones.
Be thankful for our home – we were just days away from finishingthe construction of the apartment above our house but now the contractor'sworkers can't cross into Israel. But how can we complain? There are so manyIsraelis who have been evacuated from their homes in the south and from theirhomes in the north. They are staying in hotels all over the country for anindefinite period of time. There are so many who have lost everything; theircommunities have been destroyed. We are thankful that our community is here forus and we have a safe roof over our heads.
Hike/Walk – get out of the house and into nature. On Shabbat Iwalked through unfamiliar Jerusalem neighborhoods and whenever I can, I hikeinto the forests near Neve Ilan.
Sympathize – with the victims, the families, the mourners. Ican't imagine what it's like for them. The funerals. The hostages. Always that– the hostages.
Support – buy blue and white products, including cheese from theBeeri Dairy and vegetables from the kibbutzim near Gaza.
Cheese from the Beeri DairyDon't turn on the television - but, how can you not turn on thetelevision? How can you not read the news? How can you not spend hour afterhour doomscrolling? It's hard.
Survive – these are difficult days, but we'll make it. Wesurvived COVID; we'll get past this. This is a war and we will win. We have nochoice.
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