Whatever You Do Do NOT Call That Person....
...late for dinner? no
...a cab? no
...Shirley? Surely not!
I have just come up with my first potential YA/thriller dystopian novel concept.
That's right. Screw all this "romance" nonsense. If it doesn't have a number and a vague color in the title right now, it's not selling anyways.
Yep, my new world is one in which you cannot use actual descriptions of what people to do describe them. Allow me to use my other life, in which I own a craft microbrewery, as an example. There, I employ "brewers." The "Brewer's" job is to brew the beer. In my new world we call them "person brewing the beer" instead. This is wordy, but challenging. Bear with me.
In my world, kids would not read and enjoy Dr. Seuss. Nope, they must read books about green eggs, ham, talking elephants and Loraxes by the author known as: Man with Prescription Pad Seuss.
And budding English majors would read a book called Healer Zhivago.
And watch shows about Wealthy With Bad Handwriting Who.
In my dystopia, you could not do anything as simple as lust after a movie star. No, you would have to Facebook and blog and tweet about your latest Overpaid Cinematic Employee crush.
Nor could I (and I do plan to write myself into this one, trust me) call myself a writer. I am "emotive scribbler" or "imagination endorser" or even "concept stealing re-teller of told tales."
Think of the possibilities! Twitter would have to up their character limit to something like 1100.
I came up with this, naturally as a result of being told that I had no right to call people who sell houses anything but that. People who drive you around and hand hold you through the biggest investment purchase of sale of your life. "An Agent" or "a Broker" is fine. But you dare NOT put the R word on anything even if it would give said "agents" and "brokers" a real boost in the sexiness game. Yeah, let's keep 'em in polyester and driving crap cars and trying to foist bad decisions down people's throats, relegate what I personally think is a damn fine profession down with the Previous Owned Automobile Procurement Specialists and, well, lawyers.
Truly I'm not hurt, or even mad. Just sort of all head scratchy and "huh?" My "agents" and "Brokers" in my series not labeled by the R word are VERY (very) sexy, fun and apparently compelling to more and more people every day. But whatever. I wouldn't want to drag down the bigger group by making them hawt or anything.
More a
than a
Really. Oh well. Their loss.
So BEWARE! That guy in the bad suit driving you around to find your dream home? He may look like a duck and quack like a duck but you're better off calling him an
Anseriformes
Anatidae
p.s. all those professional organization logos up there? I can use those. But I cannot use this one
Not sad, just disappointed,Liz
p.p.s. The Winners in the You Don't Know JACK, Quotable Jack Gordon BROKER contest are:
1st prize: Pam Sutton $25 Amazon gift card!
2nd prize: Michelle Wright Property of Jack Gordon Tee!
3rd prize: Tonya Lyn Stewart Realty (this word belongs to the people) coffee mug!
...a cab? no
...Shirley? Surely not!
I have just come up with my first potential YA/thriller dystopian novel concept.
That's right. Screw all this "romance" nonsense. If it doesn't have a number and a vague color in the title right now, it's not selling anyways.
Yep, my new world is one in which you cannot use actual descriptions of what people to do describe them. Allow me to use my other life, in which I own a craft microbrewery, as an example. There, I employ "brewers." The "Brewer's" job is to brew the beer. In my new world we call them "person brewing the beer" instead. This is wordy, but challenging. Bear with me.
In my world, kids would not read and enjoy Dr. Seuss. Nope, they must read books about green eggs, ham, talking elephants and Loraxes by the author known as: Man with Prescription Pad Seuss.
And budding English majors would read a book called Healer Zhivago.
And watch shows about Wealthy With Bad Handwriting Who.
In my dystopia, you could not do anything as simple as lust after a movie star. No, you would have to Facebook and blog and tweet about your latest Overpaid Cinematic Employee crush.
Nor could I (and I do plan to write myself into this one, trust me) call myself a writer. I am "emotive scribbler" or "imagination endorser" or even "concept stealing re-teller of told tales."
Think of the possibilities! Twitter would have to up their character limit to something like 1100.
I came up with this, naturally as a result of being told that I had no right to call people who sell houses anything but that. People who drive you around and hand hold you through the biggest investment purchase of sale of your life. "An Agent" or "a Broker" is fine. But you dare NOT put the R word on anything even if it would give said "agents" and "brokers" a real boost in the sexiness game. Yeah, let's keep 'em in polyester and driving crap cars and trying to foist bad decisions down people's throats, relegate what I personally think is a damn fine profession down with the Previous Owned Automobile Procurement Specialists and, well, lawyers.
Truly I'm not hurt, or even mad. Just sort of all head scratchy and "huh?" My "agents" and "Brokers" in my series not labeled by the R word are VERY (very) sexy, fun and apparently compelling to more and more people every day. But whatever. I wouldn't want to drag down the bigger group by making them hawt or anything.
More a
than a
Really. Oh well. Their loss. So BEWARE! That guy in the bad suit driving you around to find your dream home? He may look like a duck and quack like a duck but you're better off calling him an
Anseriformes
Anatidae
p.s. all those professional organization logos up there? I can use those. But I cannot use this one
Not sad, just disappointed,Liz
p.p.s. The Winners in the You Don't Know JACK, Quotable Jack Gordon BROKER contest are:
1st prize: Pam Sutton $25 Amazon gift card!
2nd prize: Michelle Wright Property of Jack Gordon Tee!
3rd prize: Tonya Lyn Stewart Realty (this word belongs to the people) coffee mug!
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