The Ugly Side of Thankfulness
As we roll into the Thanksgiving season, I find myself once again trying to focus on blessings. It is true, no matter what season or circumstance, that God blesses each one of us “abundantly, so that in all things at all times, [we} hav[e] all that [we] need..” (2 Corinthians 9:8), and this time of year is the perfect time to remember all the ways in which God has provided for us over the past year. I usually try to make a list of all my blessings in order to come into Thanksgiving with the right heart.
The problem with that is….so does everyone else.
Social media is filled with “thankfulness challenges,” where people post one or multiple things every day for which they are thankful. The idea is good in theory, but doing so in such a public way can lead to unexpected consequences–consequences that can truly reveal the sinful nature of our “thankful” hearts.
As I was scrolling through Facebook the other day, I came across one such posting. Keep in mind, I had just finished writing in my thankfulness journal for the day, praising God for the blessing of a writing career–a job that not only allows me to help provide for my family, but also enables me to pursue my passion and share the gospel with a hurting world. I was feeling pretty good, basking in the warmth that comes from remembering God’s goodness in my life.
Then I saw this post: “I’m thankful my book became both an award-winner AND best-seller this year. God is truly blessing my dreams!”
Happy, contented feeling GONE.
I know there was nothing malicious in my friend’s post. She was simply celebrating a milestone in her career and rightfully praising God for it. My gut reaction to it shows more about the state of my heart than hers. And what I saw there was shameful:
Jealousy.
All this from a heart claiming to belong to God and which, just minutes early, was genuinely praising Him for His blessings. My circumstances hadn’t changed between now and then; I still had a career for which I was very much thankful. What had changed was that sneaky little trap of comparison.
My books sell decently…but they have never snagged that “best-seller” banner. They’ve never won an award. When it came down to it, my blessings didn’t look the same as my friend’s. Hers, in all honesty, looked better. And, next to hers, that sweet little blessing about which I’d felt so happy only minutes before no longer felt like a blessing.
It felt like a slight.
A few weeks ago, my pastor preached a sermon on Cain and Abel, whose story can be found in Genesis 4. Even those who don’t consider themselves Christians are probably familiar with it. It all begins with Cain and Abel, the sons of Adam and Eve, bringing offerings to God, Cain from “some of the fruits of the soil” and Abel “fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor.” (v. 3-5a) The jealousy Cain felt from this perceived slight leads him to murder his brother Abel in cold blood soon thereafter.
Much has been made about the causes of God’s apparent favor of Abel and not Cain (I even wrote a blog post about possible reasons), but that’s not where my pastor laid his focus. Instead, he focused on Cain’s heart.
You see, at first glance, we think it’s easy to pinpoint the source of Cain’s anger and jealousy. Abel was favored (or blessed) by God, and he wasn’t. But when we really dig deeper, we find the issue more complex.
Think of it this way: if Cain’s anger and jealous was truly directed at Abel, what could Abel have done to fix the situation? When someone hurts us, there is usually some tangible form of restitution or repentance that can be performed to heal the relationship. For instance, if you steal something from me, usually returning the item or performing some other act of compensation will suffice (maybe not to fix the relationship, if there was one, but at least to serve a sense of justice against wrongdoing). But what had Abel done wrong? What could he have possibly done to “fix” the hurt in Cain’s heart?
Nothing.
And that, my pastor maintained, was what made jealousy such a particularly dangerous sin. Because even though jealousy, at the surface, seems to be an issue between two people, it’s really an issue between one person and God.
In a sense, jealousy arises when we see something someone else has–a blessing or favor from God–that we believe we ourselves deserve. We may think we’re angry at that particular person, but really we’re angry at God for withholding something from us. No matter the blessings He may have already given us–and trust me, they are there, no matter what–we look at OTHER people’s blessings and wonder why ours don’t look like theirs.
By comparison, our blessings look pale and insignificant. By comparison, our blessings look weak. By comparison, our blessings look small.
And by comparison, the nature of our hearts is revealed.
We don’t really trust God.
Jealousy about a person’s perceived favoritism by God shows that we don’t fully trust His love. Shows we don’t really believe He is good and knows what’s best for us. If we did, we would be content with our blessings and not compare them others, knowing the blessings He has given us are uniquely situated to our lives, as well as His purposes for it. No, my blessings may not look like yours…but that doesn’t mean God loves you better or me better. It simply means that His plan for my life–and yours–is different.
And if I truly trusted God, I would believe that.
Ouch.
But if you, like me, have found seeds of jealousy springing up during this season in which we are supposed to be nurturing the spirit of thankfulness, take heart. The beauty of God’s truth is that, no matter how painful and exposed we may be, His healing hand is never far away. Repent of your jealousy and disbelief, laying it at the feet of the only One who can redeem and restore those broken, ugly parts inside.
And you will find you have yet another beautiful item to add to your thankfulness list.
