This 127-Page Book Will Change How You View Success

Photo by mohit suthar on Unsplash(It’s Not What You Think)

This book is absolutely amazing and just might change your life.

I first came across this book 6 or 7 years ago. I’ve read it many times, and every time I read it, I’m shocked by how good it is.

I’m shocked by the insight, the clarity, and the excitement it gives me.

It helps me look at my current life and what I’m doing very differently.

In this article, I’m going to share with you my favorite 10 ideas from this book.

However, a quick word of warning.

This book was written only for people who want to be extremely excellent at what they do. Maybe even bold enough to be the best in the world at what they do.

If you’re someone who wants to be mediocre at what you do, don’t read this article and definitely don’t read Paul Arden’s book.

Are you ready? Let’s get started.

Really quick: there are actually 3 ways to enjoy this article:

1. Watch this YouTube video:

https://medium.com/media/a60960835b728fe3b01bcaaaa095f847/href

2. Listen to this episode of the Dr. Benjamin Hardy Show (available on any podcast streaming service)

3. Continue reading this article (includes bonus content not available anywhere else)

1. Success Comes From Wanting Success

“Nearly all rich and powerful people are not notably talented, educated, charming, or good-looking.

“They become rich and powerful by wanting to become rich and powerful.” — Paul Arden

Success and even money don’t come by having talent or grit. They come by wanting success and money.

Largely in life, we get what we want. We get what we’re pursuing and what we are after.

If you want to be successful, wealthy, and great at what you do, you have to want it.

2. Most People Are Going For Mediocre

“There is little demand in the commercial world for excellence. There is a much, much bigger demand for mediocrity.” — Paul Arden

Ask yourself this honest question:

In a world that demands mediocrity, why would you go for excellence? Do you really want to be excellent when mediocrity is the bar?

You have to make the choice. Are you going to be mediocre like everyone else, or are you going to choose excellence?

If you choose excellence and quality, you have infinite upside. Most people are in a race to the bottom.

“In a world where everyone is racing to the bottom, your choice is to race to the bottom with everyone else, or race to the top. The way you race to the top is to be the best in the world at what you do.” — Seth Godin

3. You Can Achieve The Unachievable

“Firstly, you need to aim beyond what you are capable of. You much develop a complete disregard for where your abilities end. Try to do the things that you’re incapable of. If you think you’re unable to work for the best company in its sphere, make that you aim. If you think you’re incapable of running a company, make that your aim. If you think you’re unable to be on the cover of Time magazine, make it your business to be there. Make your vision of where you want to be a reality. Nothing is impossible.” — Paul Arden

Most people don’t go for the unachievable. Most people are going for average or mediocre.

If you go for the impossible, however, virtually all competition is eliminated and virtually all ways of getting to the goal are also eliminated.

There’s a concept in psychology called your “default future.” Your default future is the future that is going to happen unless something dramatic and unexpected happens.

This isn’t necessarily the future you want. In fact, it’s often not the future you want. It’s rather the future you most expect.

Go for a seemingly impossible future.

Your future is your future.

What you focus on expands.

What expands will determine what you develop mastery in.

The achievement of your impossible goals will depend upon what you focus on.

Step 1: Start with a Goal that you, your team or a client think is “simply impossible.”

Hint: If you or they don’t have such a goal, take one of your or their life or business goals, and either keep increasing the magnitude of the goal, or reduce the time to achieve it, until you or they say “Now It’s impossible!”

Step 2: Ask yourself or them this simple question: “It’s impossible [to achieve your goal]… UNLESS…?”

Something fascinating will happen.

Asking this simple question (UNLESS…?) will automatically shift your or their brain into problem-solving mode. This disruption “forces” our brain to start exploring what the specific conditions are that will make the impossible, possible. Often, this is the only thing you, your team or your client, needs to get unstuck, and to enable you or them to identify exactly how to achieve very ambitious goals considered to be impossible just moments before. — Dr. Alan Barnard

Most people don’t even go for ‘impossible’ goals because they think it is impossible, so instead they lower their standards, and they go for average or mediocre. Most people and most businesses are going for mediocre goals.

If you make your goal impossible, as Paul Arden and Dr. Alan Barnard are inviting us to do, your brain will become selectively focused on that goal.

If you’re going for something impossible, or for something that you at least think is impossible, you can’t use your own conventional wisdom. You’re no longer operating from past assumptions, because you don’t know how to do it yet.

Impossible goals are also so big that MOST things you are doing right now, won’t get you there.

This makes impossible goals a very good filter between the signal and the noise.

It’s hard to determine what aspects of your life or business right now are actually working if you focus only on the realistic or the achievable.

If you’re going for mediocre, you’re allowing the present to dictate your future rather than letting your future (and a seemingly impossible future at that) filter and determine your present. If you go for the goal that is “reasonable,” there is a lot more competition and scarcity.

Bigger goals are really useful because they simplify things. Most things won’t get you to an impossible goal, and so they force you ask the question posed by Dr. Alan Barnard earlier.

“This would be impossible unless…what?”

The “what” is a select few things.

Those few things are the 20% of the things that make 80% of the difference. They help you to weed out most of the things you are doing, because most of the things you are doing right now won’t get you to an impossible goal.

Largely, you get what you are aiming for. Why not go for the impossible? If you go for it, you just might hit it.

If you make the impossible your aim and your standard, you will figure out how to do it, and most people just aren’t going for that.

This is how you become excellent. This is how you go from good to great.

4. Seek Criticism Rather Than Seeking Praise

“[If] you produced a piece of work, [it] is probably ok. But then it’s probably not great either. If, instead of seeking approval, you ask ‘what’s wrong with it? how can I make it better?’, you are more likely to get a truthful, critical answer.” — Paul Arden

This is what psychologists call DELIBERATE PRACTICE.

Deliberate practice is how you become aware of your weaknesses, rather than shielding yourself from and ignoring them.

“If I spend every day working with a guy and he goes out and has a lousy game, I don’t blame him for the lousy game. I know everyone else is blaming him for the lousy game, but I’m wondering if something we did in the gym affected his shot. That’s my job; the pressure is on me to ensure he doesn’t have two lousy games…” — Tim Grover, Michael Jordan’s performance coach, from Relentless

As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, all progress starts by telling the truth.

In sports, a big aspect of deliberate practice is watching your own film. Put a spotlight on your weaknesses and allow them to become better.

Another thing to note: just because you get criticism doesn’t mean you have to believe it or take it.

You have the final say with your work, but you should be open to feedback. This is part of having a growth mindset.

People with a fixed mindset avoid any and all forms of failure and/or criticism. Whereas, if you’re really open and honest and expose yourself to feedback, you can get massively good really quickly.

5. Everything That’s Your Fault, Is Your Fault

“If you are involved in something that goes wrong, never blame others. Blame no one but yourself. If you have touched something, accept total responsibility for that piece of work. If you accept responsibility, you are in a position to do something about it.” — Paul Arden

This is a great mindset. This creates an internal locus of control.

If you take responsibility and ownership for everything in your life, you can move things forward. You’re not blaming other people for your life. You’re saying, “this is on me,” and then you can change things.

To again quote Tim Grover’s book Relentless:

“You tell me you messed up, take responsibility...now you’ve gained my trust. As soon as you start giving me reasons and rationalization, I know you have something to hide, and you’re not ready to take ownership.”

This is the difference between people who are mature and people who are immature. People who are mature take responsibility for their lives, they take responsibility for their outcomes, for their circumstances, and for every single aspect of their lives.

They put everything on themselves. They don’t put anything on other people. They put it on themselves and ultimately use that to move forward.

6. Give Away Everything

“If you give away everything you have, you are left with nothing. This forces you to look, to be aware, to replenish. Somehow the more you give away the more comes back to you. Ideas are open knowledge. Don’t claim ownership. They’re not your ideas anyway, they’re someone else’s. They are out there floating by on the ether. You just have to put yourself in a frame of mind to pick them up.” — Paul Arden

This idea has impacted me personally the most out of the ten I’m sharing with you.

I have been in many situations with people who hoard their ideas, to the extent of causing massive legal battles. When you’re hoarding things, you put yourself in a scarcity mindset.

As someone who creates ideas for a living, I find that the more you give freely, you’ll be empty.

Being empty is a beautiful place to be.

When you’re empty, you’ll start looking for and you’ll start receiving the next ideas.

If you’re hoarding ideas, your brain doesn’t have the space to create new ones. You’re living off of your old ideas and it’s very much clogging the system.

7. Focus On The Current Opportunity

“Don’t look for the next opportunity. The one you have in hand is the opportunity. We are always waiting for the perfect brief from the perfect client. It almost never happens. You’re probably working on a job or project right now and saying, ‘This is boring, let’s just deal with it and get it over with. We’ll make the next one good.’ Whatever is on your desk right now, that’s the one. Make it the best you possibly can.” — Paul Arden

This is the difference between people who are very successful and people who are not.

People who are not successful are still waiting for the “right” opportunity, whereas people who succeed take what’s in front of them RIGHT NOW and use that as a springboard to the next big thing.

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” — Theodore Roosevelt

Regardless of what job or position you have right now, don’t wait for the next opportunity.

Make THIS your big opportunity.

Make the thing you’re working on right now become world-class.

You can turn what you are working on right now into the rocket ship of a HUGE future for yourself.

Take what you’re focused on right now and make it the best that you possibly can.

8. Make Mistakes

“The person who doesn’t make mistakes is unlikely to make anything.” — Paul Arden

This idea has given me huge permission.

When you have a growth mindset, you aren’t afraid of making mistakes. You also don’t overly define yourself by who you are and what you do right now. After all, Dr. Daniel Gilbert pointed out that:

“The person you are right now is as fleeting as the present moment.”

Your future self is going to be a different person. You’re also not the same person as your past self.

If you’re going to move forward and create things, you’re going to make a lot of mistakes, and that’s a great place to be. That’s a growth mindset.

“Rather than try to be right, it’s much better to get it right.” — Brene Brown

If you’re willing to make mistakes, you’re willing to learn. You’re willing to make things better and better rather than trying to prove yourself. As Paul Arden goes on to say,

“Knowledge comes from the past, so it’s safe. It is also out of date. It’s the opposite of originality…this is lazy. Experience is the opposite of being creative. If you can prove you’re right, you’re set in concrete. You cannot move with the times or with other people. Being right is also being boring your mind is closed. You are not open to new ideas. You are rooted in your own rightness, which is arrogant…It’s right to be wrong. Start being wrong and suddenly anything is possible. You’re no longer trying to be infallible.” — Paul Arden

Rather than trying to be right all the time, try to be wrong. Figure out the ways in which you have it wrong. This is an emotionally open, psychologically flexible mindset. This allows you to be in a creative space where you get better and better at what you do, rather than trying to cling to what you already have.

9. It’s Not What You Know, It’s Who You Know

“It’s not about what you know, it’s who you know. You all know this old maxim but do you ever think about it. Consider: I am a talented architect working for a prestigious company. Richard Rogers Partnership, for instance. The company knows my value, respects me and pays me accordingly, but nobody outside the company knows me. I have buried myself in my work. you, however, are a first year student at the architectural Institute. You print a business card with the word: Anthony Taylor. Architect. Or even better Architects. You are in the bar chatting, you talk yourself up and present your credentials i.e. your business card. You will be accepted as an authority or practitioner of architecture. I, on the other hand, with my lack of social skills and reluctance to push myself forward, will be unnoticed. A nobody. Unfair as it may seem, this is the reality of life.” — Paul Arden

It’s all about relationships.

Specifically, it’s about positioning yourself in a certain way such that your work can get out there.

Position yourself so that you get the best opportunities. Oftentimes, it is not the person who is the best at what they do, but the person who is the best positioned.

As an example, I have written books such as 10x Is Easier Than 2x with Dan Sullivan. I am now positioned as an expert in entrepreneurial and business transformational processes, even though I may not be the best in this topic.

I am positioned differently, and therefore get all sorts of opportunities. Even though I might not be the best at this topic, I am positioned better.

This is about playing your cards right. Position yourself in such a way that people know who you are, rather than just what you know.

10. Work With The Best

“The best people can be difficult. They are single-minded, they have tunnel vision. That’s what makes them good. They are reluctant to compromise. They can be intimidating, especially to the young, but if you approach them with an attitude that you want to do something well, they will respond positively. Because they want to do something well too. And if you are clear about what you want and strong about getting it, though there may be arguments, they will respect you.” — Paul Arden

This brings us to another concept from Dan Sullivan; the concept Always Be the Buyer.

In every situation there are buyers and sellers. Buyers have very clear standards, they know what they want, and most importantly, they are willing to walk away if they don’t get everything they want.

On the other hand, a seller is constantly trying to sell themselves, they don’t have clear standards, and they’re willing to accept whatever they can get. This is the meaning of the phrase “to sell out.”

If you want to be excellent at what you do, work with the best. Work with other buyers. Place yourself in situations where you can both get everything you want. These types of relationships operate very differently from the average.

One of my favorite books on this topic is The 90/20 Individual by Richard Koch, which profiles some of the most influential people in world history.

In any situation, massive transformation can occur through a few key people.

“Take our 20 best people away, and I will tell you that Microsoft will become an unimportant company.” — Bill Gates

20 people.

For reference, there are well over 200,000, or 1000 x 20, Microsoft employees as of 2023. It’s estimated that there were 120,000 at the time of this quote.

The people in the literal 99.99% percentile of Microsoft make all the difference, according to Gates.

To be the best, you have to be willing to work with people who have a single-minded focus. People who are the best in the world.

Be willing to work with the Top 20. A lot of people are pretty good at what they do, but they’re distracted, and they don’t want to be the best. They’re not the Top 20 people.

In working with the best, you also need to be willing to humble yourself instead of trying to dominate over others.

As an example, I want to be the best, but I also want to work with the best. Together, we can create massive opportunities. If we’re too focused on competing with one another, that can’t happen. People who don’t want to work with the best have huge ego that gets in their way.

Don’t be afraid of the best.

Ready To Upgrade?Here’s It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want To Be on Amazon.If you enjoyed this article, you’ll find a much deeper analysis of many of these same topics in my book, 10X Is Easier Than 2X. Get the kindle version for FREE here.Click here to download my FREE peak-state checklist and live in a peak state every day.[image error]