Chapter 3 PRACTICING CREATIVE SELF-CARE

Creativity begins with healthy self-care. When we artistic types take care of our particular self-care needs, our creative capacity expands. Each person is unique and has particular self-care priorities. For example, an introvert needs alone time to refuel, whereas an extrovert refuels from others. This chapter of my book, Refrain from the Identical: Insight and Inspiration for Creative Eclectics, provides helpful hints for managing your personal needs.

[image error]

 

Here is an excerpt from Chapter 3: Practicing Creative Self-Care:

A Guide to Emotional Health: Surviving and Thriving

The names, faces, and circumstances may change but the principles remain the same.  Life just keeps doling out one volley of adverse circumstances after another.  Each seems unique and often keeps us obsessing and unproductive for days instead of pursuing our artistic outlets.  This is especially true when matters of the heart are involved.  A biblical proverb admonishes that “under seven things the earth quakes.” One of those listed is “an unloved woman when she gets a husband.” Yet a scorned lover is nothing compared to a frustrated artist. If I could add an eighth, it would be a blocked creative soul. The volcano of pent-up energy rumbles seeking any fissure through which to escape. Some challenges taunt courage and if one procrastinates pursuit, others within emotional distance become targets for unresolved fear and frustration.

“If only my husband was more sensitive,” you sigh.

“I wish I had another job that allowed more time for creating. If I was a full time writer, I know I wouldn’t get depressed anymore.” Yet, after a summer vacation from teaching, your dark moods roll in everyday like the morning fog at the beach.

All of us would love to save up healthy self-care for those difficult times but it does not work that way. Twelve Step Recovery stresses it is “one day at a time.” Often, one moment at a time keeps you from falling over the cliff of insanity.  You may even know that obsessing is a smokescreen of avoidance from discovering and pursuing what you really want out of life, but you indulge in this destructive practice anyway. Like an alcoholic savoring that forbidden drink, random distracting thoughts ricochet through your mind instead of ideas for the project you are too frightened to tackle.

Creative people have a gift (although it often feels like a curse) of sensing and expressing the heart of humanity. This tendency to feel deeply can be a conduit for artistic expression if embraced and processed. Writing, music, or art often result when we try to understand and communicate our feelings. Others who find it difficult to connect with their feelings often benefit from the creative person’s ability to do so.

I have found my artist’s personality emotionally survives and thrives through reflective writing and kindred relationships. When I find myself obsessing about people or situations, I remember the lessons learned from those years of recovery. Stopping to take care of myself through processing always realigns my perspective and priorities. Turning to those people who mirror my thoughts back in order to help me discover the sources of my turmoil also helps me navigate this terrain of the heart and reinforce some truths I have learned to practice.

My daughter of a mere twenty years called me last evening, “Mom, we need to talk!”

Her words pierced my heart with fear and dread. “What’s wrong?” Silence! “Are you ok?” Silence! “No, I know you’re not ok so what is going on?”

Her desperate reply sent shivers down my spine.

“Mom, can you tell me what is wrong with me? Can you help me to understand myself? I have these times when I really want to do something, like recently, I decided to go to medical school and become a doctor. Then, a few weeks later, the thought repulses me, and it is the last thing I want to do! Or, I am convinced my boyfriend is the one and then I don’t even want to date him. I go up and down emotionally and I can’t control my emotions and I don’t know why.”

“Phew,” I muttered. “Honey, you have an artist’s personality. I know because I go through the same emotional roller coaster of manic episodes and depressive plummets. Have you been writing regularly?” I ask.

“No,” she whimpers.

What follows is a rendition of my counsel that I have found to be true after a lifetime of living in an eclectic creative’s skin. When you are up, you believe any ambition is possible.  During these times, creativity often pours forth in a seemingly unending torrent. After the spike, unfortunately, the descent occurs.  Like clockwork, you emotionally fall into a state of despair as possibility covers with clouds of negativity. Nothing seems good to you whether career, relationships, or food selection. You feel immeasurably sorry for yourself, and if society still practiced the biblical practice of sackcloth and ashes, you would tear your clothes, throw ashes on your head—a sign of grieving—and howl the loudest lament possible.

“Darling, I know you don’t want to hear me say this again but you need to begin some emotional conditioning. You need to practice daily writing in order to sift through your emotions and get to the bottom of what is really going on inside.”

I tried to explain to her the essential nature of this practice. To use the analogy of weeding my garden, writing is like following crab grass underground through all of this nasty devil’s twists and turns until you find the place where it roots. Writing allows the reflective soul to find out what is beneath the surface; not only where the negative roots originate but also the seeds of personal growth choked out by emotional weeds.

Our conversation progressed with her finally settling down and listening to my rendition of why I write for self-reflection. How often the first part of my daily writing entails a stream of emotional vomit full of complaints, foul feelings, and besetting worries. Only as I cleanse these unwelcome visitors from my soul does the next phase of writing kick in. With room to breathe, poems, prose, reflections, stories, and songs strengthen their tender stocks reaching up for fresh air and warm sunshine. These bouquets from a soulful garden would not stand a chance of emerging unless there was weeding.  Digging up the roots takes painstaking determination in order to prevent these nasty irritants from revisiting.  However, the ability to maintain focus on nurturing my creativity instead of the emotional weeds often requires other essential tools. In order to emotionally survive and thrive, I need open, honest, and trustworthy relationships.

Having other people you implicitly trust provides those who remind you that the source of your current problem may just be a lack of self-discovery. I tried to explain to my daughter that although her talents as an artist and writer are still emerging and developing, she must embrace this truth and learn to become a self-reflective soul. Only as she writes and sorts through what are often only smoke and mirrors hiding the true problem, will she discover her identity and destiny.

“Sweetheart, neither your lack of career direction nor your boyfriend are the source of your unhappiness.  You just have not discovered the path to your destiny.  Even when you do, you will have days when your heart sings and others when deep depression and despair settle.”

In that moment, my other daughter’s counsel to me returned to mind.  Andrea, an artist/writer/dancer/English major listens to my complaints and offers fresh perspective. She reminds me that part of the reason I do feel everything so intensely is because I am a writer. I am extremely thankful for the open and honest relationships I have with my daughters and the other women in our family. We form a support group for venting our obsessions while looking past them to see what creative challenges we fear.

You can purchase Refrain from the Identical: Insight and Inspiration for Creative Eclectics by selecting this link, or learn more about the book by selecting the Refrain Book Info page.

[image error]

 

Share this: