Blood on Shakespeare’s Typewriter by Mark Eklid

When Dan Khan buys a unique piece of cultural history for £50 from a man in the pub, he thinks all his troubles are over.

He is told it’s the actual typewriter William Shakespeare used when he wrote all his plays.

Dan and his girlfriend Shannon reckon it must be worth millions!

#BloodOnShakespearesTypewriter @MarkEklid @SpellBoundBks @Tr4cyF3nt0n #CompulsiveReaders #blogtour

But they don’t realise the vintage machine was stolen from the city’s most notorious crime boss.

And he will stop at nothing to get back the sinister secret it contains…

My Review

This was hilarious! I was on holiday reading it and I actually burst out laughing on the beach more than once.

Poor Dan and Shannon. They are all a bit Joey Essex and Vicky Pollard – actually that’s unfair to her – she’s far more intelligent than he is. He’s a bit, shall we say, intellectually challenged, but he’s handsome and I bet he has gleaming white teeth. He really believes the typewriter he bought off Fingerless Frankie down the pub for £50, is actually the one that Shakespeare wrote his plays on. He even has a misspelt letter of authenticity from some professor.

He wonders if the typewriter will inspire him to write a crime novel, so he starts.

‘Just then, the door opened and in walked Peaches McPlenty. All the men looked around at her because she was dead gorgeous and they all fancied her.

‘“Hello boys. I hear we have a problem,” she said, all sexy like.’

‘Charlie was powerless now. He’d do anything to be able to have sex with Peaches.

‘”I’ll tell you what,” she said. “You confess to all them murders and I’ll let you play with my big bouncy boobies.”‘

Now Dan’s first draft makes the Carry On films look subtle and Shan is horrified at the blatant sexism. She didn’t like it. He didn’t see that coming.

But back to the story. Frankie wants the typewriter back. Offers them £120, but Dan knows it’s a trick. It must be REALLY valuable. Little does he know that it’s not the typewriter that’s valuable but what’s hidden inside it. And so the chase begins. Because the typewriter belongs to Ronnie Bridgman, Sheffield’s most notorious gangster and he’ll do anything to get it back. He was robbed, and all his precious belongings taken, including the contents of the safe and his signed Lionel Messi shirt. I know Dan’s a bit thick, but surely he would know who Messi is – even I do. Apparently not.

Who would dare? It’s all far more complicated than it initially appears, with a whole host of characters, from mixed martial arts teacher Hermie, IT wizard Em, the heavies who work for Ronnie, his wife Vanessa, and then the officers at the police station, who are actually pretty good at their jobs.

It’s a rollercoaster of a ride with love, kidnapping, murder and car chases, and it’s a load of fun.

And in Dan’s own words, “As some cleverer bloke than me once said, all’s well that turns out all right.”

Many thanks to @Tr4cyF3nt0n for inviting me to be part of the #CompulsiveReaders #blogtour 

About the Author

Long before Mark first became a published author, writing was his living. His background is as a newspaper journalist, starting out with the South Yorkshire Times in 1984 and then on to the Derby Telegraph, until leaving full-time work in March 2020. Most of Mark’s time at the Telegraph was as their cricket writer, a role that brought national recognition in the 2012 and 2013 England and Wales Cricket Board awards. He contributed for 12 years to the famed Wisden Cricketers’ Almanack and had many articles published in national magazines, annuals and newspapers. Writing as a profession meant writing for pleasure had to be put on the back burner but when his work role changed, Mark returned to one of the many half-formed novels in his computer files and, this time, saw it through to publication.

The Murder of Miss Perfect is his first novel for SpellBound, but Mark has previously self-published Sunbeam (November 2019), Family Business (June 2020) and Catalyst (February 2021). The earlier three are to be re-published through SpellBound soon. All four are fast-moving, plot-twisting thrillers set in the city of his birth, Sheffield. Mark lives in Derby with his partner, Sue. They have two adult sons and have been adopted by a cat.

Follow him at:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meklidauthor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkEklid
Website: http://markeklid.com/