FULL CIRCLE – Chapter One
‘Are you OK? Shall I call an ambulance?’
Ana had no idea why the woman; a stranger, was asking her these questions, until she realised she was sitting on the pavement. She got up, embarrassed and dizzy.
What the hell happened?
‘I’m fine. No need to call for an ambulance,’ she reassured the woman, ‘I’m a doctor.’
Ana walked away towards the bus station. Once there, she sat down and tried to recall what had just taken place.
The last thing Ana remembered was stepping out of the store. A huge group of people had been standing in front of the electrical appliance shop. She remembered thinking how strange it was, and felt compelled to see what they were watching. In the window display, the latest models of televisions were lined up next to one another. All were tuned into CNN showing events taking place somewhere in the world. Ana rarely had any interest in politics or news. She was about to turn and walk to the bus station when her eye caught the images.
Her beloved Prague.
Don’t look back! Ana could hear her mother’s voice calling after her. But she couldn’t stop staring at the scenes unfolding on the screens. Thousands of people marched with signs, calling out for freedom. They were faced with lines of policemen; some on horses and some with guns or batons. She couldn’t believe she was watching it on a screen and not immersed in her own memories. Memories she had worked hard to forget for the past two decades.
That’s when her knees collapsed and she’d blacked out.
How did I end up here?
***
It was Ana’s day off. On any normal day she would allow herself to sleep in and take her time, but today she had errands to do. She never liked leaving the holiday shopping to the last moment, so had decided to get it over with.
By the time she woke up, Dan had done the groceries and prepared a great brunch for her. She always felt pampered by him when he made such gestures. In their first few years of marriage she’d felt spoiled, or worse, like she was taking advantage of Dan’s good nature. When she’d asked him about it, his first response sounded as if he was joking.
‘Can’t a man cook for his wife without being considered a “sissy”?’ Ana had smiled, but wasn’t reassured by it. When she kept asking him about it, he finally told her his motives.
‘I grew up in a family where food was the way to show affection. Food was more than just nutrition: it was a way to celebrate, share and show how much you care for and love your family. Why is it so wrong if I’m the one who does it and not you?’
Ana had finally relaxed, recognising it was Dan’s way of telling her he still loved her after all those years together. In time, she’d started to look forward to it, and appreciated her good fortune of finding such a man.
But today, Ana didn’t have time to linger. She checked the bus timetable and, seeing she would be just in time to catch it, she set off downtown.
The streets were already decorated for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
It feels like they start the celebrations earlier and earlier each year.
Today Ana wanted to get Yael, her daughter, something for Chanukah, the festival of light. This year it took place at the same time as Christmas. Both she and Dan had made a point of celebrating both Chanukah and Christmas, so Yael would not feel different from her friends.
Ana recalled seeing a unique artistic Chanukah in a special shop during the summer months. It was made from clay and each candle holder was shaped like a different fairy, while the backdrop had a colourful Tree of Life symbol. She knew Yael would appreciate it, given her artistic talents. Ana hoped it would still be there.
When she reached the shop, Ana was relieved to discover the Chanukah was still on display. Ana stood outside, taking a second look. Was it as beautiful as she had remembered it in her mind? Yes, it was even more unique and impressive. Ana was happy to discover it was on sale. She paid and asked the shop owner to gift wrap it. She would never have time to do it herself and, even if she did, it would never look as good as they do it in the store. Ana had learned long ago that it was best to leave certain things to the professionals. She was happy that it didn’t take too long.
Stepping outside, she saw the crowd.
***
Serves you right for following a crowd, her inner critic mocked her on the bus back home. You should know better by now!
Arriving back home, Ana realised how late it was. She could hear Yael was home, filling the space with her constant chattering. Her daughter was always talking about people, places and events Ana couldn’t keep track of. She was grateful Dan was his usual attentive self as their only child told yet another involved and long-winded story.
Once dinner was over, Yael went up to her room under the pretence she was doing homework. Both Dan and Ana knew she was more likely chatting with her friends on the phone, but they let it go. They both joked that kids needed to believe they were fooling their parents. Most kids would discover how their parents knew all about their supposed transgressions, once they became parents themselves. It was one of those well-kept secrets parents had; you only discover it when you enter the club.
Dan switched on the TV. He was zapping between the endless channels when he landed on CNN. It was a Breaking News segment that caught Ana’s attention.
‘It’s Prague again,’ she muttered and stopped Dan from turning over. ‘What’s going on? I saw clips of it today on the street. People were glued to the TV shop’s window as if there was a revolution taking place.’
Dan raised the volume. The same images came up: protesters filling the streets of Prague; the notorious riot police trying to beat back the demonstrators, hoping to tamp down the demand for freedom. But it looked like the people seemed to have grown immune to the brutality of the regime. The show of force only motivated them to resist even more. Students were joined by citizens of all ages. The reporters said that more than half a million people were filling Prague’s streets and taking over Wenceslas Square.
Ana watched the scenes with a stoic look; she still couldn’t believe her eyes. She sensed it was real, but couldn’t bring herself to accept it. She was startled as one of the reporters said, ‘Change is in the air.’ She was about to get up from the sofa when Yael strolled into the room.
‘They’re calling it the Velvet Revolution,’ she announced, without taking her eyes off the screen.
‘Yes, they are,’ Dan said. ‘Where did you hear about it?’
‘They’ve been showing us these images for the last two weeks at school, ever since the Berlin Wall collapsed. They’re saying it’s history in the making.’
‘Why do they call it the Velvet Revolution?’ Ana felt out of touch with the conversation taking place between her husband and her daughter.
‘Don’t you know?’ Yael asked her with an astonished tone.
‘You know me; I don’t have time for news or TV.’
Yael stared at her mother as if seeing her for the first time.
‘You’re not interested in news or politics? But it defines our lives and dictates how we live.’
‘No, it doesn’t. You are the only person that defines your destiny. You are the only one that would create or destroy your life, nothing else. And don’t let anyone tell you anything different.’ Ana cringed as she heard a stronger tone in her voice than she’d intended. I sound like my mum.
‘Why are you so against it?’ Yael asked.
Dan was about to answer, but Ana silenced him with a look.
‘Nothing new. They think “change is in the air,” but they have no clue. I’ve been in that movie, and it didn’t end well.’
‘You never talk about your home country. Why is that?’
‘I believe there is no point in looking back.’
‘But I want to know about your past,’ Yael pleaded, ‘I want to know you.’
Ana looked at Dan. He shrugged his shoulders, then nodded.
‘Maybe it’s time?’ he said. ‘You don’t want her to be as clueless about you as you were about your mother… Would you?’ Dan couldn’t have said a more powerful sentence to convince Ana.
‘Well, I guess,’ Ana sighed, looking at her eager daughter, ‘it’s time you heard how I arrived in the United States. But first, you need to understand who I was.’
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