Refreshing for NaNoWriMo

It’s November. It’s National Novel Writing Month. But I am not as excited as I should be.

Despite the optimistic tones and clear message of perseverance in my more recent blog posts, I have to admit: the rejections are getting to me. I’m trying to remind myself that it’s all part of the process and yadda, yadda, yadda, and blah, blah, blah. But I’ve also been wondering if I should change the ending of my manuscript. I let a colleague/avid reader read it nearly two months ago and she found me to tell me she’s still thinking about my story, which is a really good sign, and she said it needs to be published, which is another really good sign, so she suggested I change the ending. She suggested this because in our conversation, I told her about that one agent who seemed interested but confessed she’d had trouble selling a darkly themed novel and didn’t want to have our hearts broken.

Another colleague/friend/avid reader recently finished Moody Blue and had me sign her copy. It was flattering, and I was honored, and she told me she found the ending dissatisfying, that she wanted more, like a sequel.

But I internalized it differently than it was intended. The ending was no good? Does that mean all my endings are shit? Should I re-write the ending of Lightning Strikes and send it out to agents with the happier endings so it’ll be published? I’ve been grappling with those questions ever since I was living and writing in Ireland. Donal Ryan asked me the same thing: what would I do if a publisher said they’d publish it as long as I changed the ending?

I asked friends, both writers and non-writers, for advice. Two I respect the most gave me different answers.

Then, last night, I ordered Chinese food and binged watch half of the Netflix show “The Fall of the House of Usher” to celebrate Halloween. One of the fortunes in one of the fortune cookies was: Things are turning for the bright side.

And I received text messages from the colleague who read Moody Blue. I also sent along Lightning Strikes for honest feedback and constructive criticism. The messages read: “Amazingly written. Hauntingly beautiful. And you suck” because the ending is definitely a downer. The next string of messages read: “You are seriously talented my dear. And I’ve read a lot of fucking books. I loved it. Seriously. Deep. Dark. Haunting. Addicting.”

But my favorite message:

You obviously haven’t found the right publisher because that’s one of the best books I’ve read in a while.

Beta reader

So maybe — just maybe — NaNoWriMo is coming at the perfect time.

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