Random thoughts on a cold night
I have no idea what this image has to do with this blog,
but it somehow landed here and I cannot get rid of it.
At least it satisfies the algorithms.
This is the kind of night whenI really notice the one flaw in my cottage: there is no fireplace and no roomfor one. Jamie bought me a tiny artificial fireplace—the flames look very real,and it gives off just a smidge of heat, but I like it for the atmosphere, thethought of a fire. We have not yet gotten it down from wherever it was packedaway over the summer. The cottage tonight, however, is toasty warm. I have thethermostat on the two ductless split systems—one in the living area and one inthe bedroom—set at a level I never would in a regular furnace, but I don’tthink these units heat as well. At any rate, I am comfortable—and I spentyesterday being cold all day.
I had the classic school dreamlast night—I was enrolled in two college classes but didn’t really want to takethem. Finally I realized that I had already completed the degree requirements,and I dropped the classes. Such a relief! Occasionally I dream I am enrolled ina class and it’s time for the final, but I’ve never attended—or I couldn’t findthe classroom. I think the class is often paleontology, something way out of myfield of interest.
School dreams like that arenot unusual and often mean that you are dealing with unpleasant memories or areanxious about something. I really don’t feel that there’s much in my life to beanxious about. But in the wider world, there is so much to be anxious about. Ifind that since the horrific Hamas attack on Israeli settlements, I am lessoptimistic. These days I am truly worried about an international war, with ourtroops suffering air raid strikes and half the Middle East ready to join thefight—though who on which side remains sort of unclear, except I don’t thinkIsrael would have many allies. And at home, antisemitism is on the rise at analarming rate. It’s like that night over three weeks ago Hamas let loose allthe evil and hate in the world. It scares me that people are so fierce, and theindividual stories break my heart.
Where is Solomon with his wisdom?Not only did he use his sword to settle a matter of motherhood, he successfullyruled over two tribes and is recognized today, in different ways, by both Jewsand Muslims. I see no path forward to peace, and I grieve at the bitter fate ofcivilians on either side of the conflict. I read somewhere that over half thePalestinians killed in the conflict were children. Both sides are fixed onvengeance, but as Ghandi said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”I am afraid that is what is happening to us.
It's hard these days to goback to the ordinary, to root yourself in such things as Halloween and getting plantsin before tonight’s frost and what to fix for supper tomorrow night. But it isthose ordinary things I think that often hold us together. And today I read anarticle about that most ordinary of things: the common southern phrase, “Blessyour heart.” We all know it can be a biting insult, but an article in SouthernLiving suggests it is much more nuanced. The meaning depends heavily on thespeaker’s tone of voice.
Whispered in a conspiratorialvoice, usually about someone not present, it casts doubt on the subject’s abilities,mostly mental or social. Stated in a clear, caring tone of voice, it conveysreal concern or sympathy. Said with sass, it implies judgement and anincredulous, “What were you thinking?” If the speaker’s voice holds pity, andyou’re the recipient, accept that it is not a compliment and move on. If it’ssaid matter-of-factly, it may mean that the speaker doesn’t want to revealtheir real feelings and wants to end the conversation.
Feeling much better today—thanksfor asking. Cold symptoms cough and stuffy nose persist, but I have more energyand more interest in what I’m working on. Wrote a thousand words today, most ofthem good words.
Bless your heart, one and all.
