The Rosie Project Revisited
The Rosie Project is a humorous novel by Graeme Simsion that I read and reviewed back in August of this year, You can read my review, or a Wikipedia article to learn more about it. You can also sample it on Amazon or Google books.
The short synopsis is that the story concerns a brilliant Australian college professor who is on the Asperger's spectrum. He decides that he needs to be married. Being both socially awkward and detail orientated, he wants to find his wife in the most efficient way possible; through the various dating apps together with a 16 page survey to be filled out by the women who would like to date him. Needless to say, pickings are few.
However, due to a misunderstanding, he asks Rosie to a date under the false assumption that she is an applicant. Nevertheless, they hit it off... sort of, and their growing relationship is the basis of the story.
The book explores the mindset of a person on the Asperger's spectrum, but the author is not on that spectrum. However, a regular reader of mine, who has lived that life, read my review, searched out, found and read the book. He recently emailed me his reactions to the book. I thought that they were entertaining, interesting as well as educational, so I asked him if he would be willing to share his reactions with my blog readers. He has kindly allowed me to publish his remarks - Thank you.
So what we have below is his thoughts inspired by certain passages in the book. The passages he quoted from the book are in bold italics with our guest blogger’s reaction to them below.
Our contributor's observations on The Rosie Project begin with a few general comments on the book and his experiences and then are reactions to specific quotes from the book to further illustrate his points.
The Rosie Project (Simsion,Graeme) The "Rosie Project" is a quite interesting novel,the style is intriguing and funny. I did not like the last part ofit. Seems a lot of books of this type end in marriage as the highestpurpose in life. It's boring. I started reading the sequel, "TheRosie Effect" but this was a horror. It started where the"Project" ended and I was not able nor willing to continuereading that one. Okay, if readers want babies and mothers the authorgives it to them but it's still boring. A few funny dialogues doesn’thelp.
Concerningthe Asperger Syndrome, what the author has written is correct, butnot comprehensive. First and foremost Aspergers are sensitive againstinfluences, like flickering fluorescent tubes, noises or evenemotions of other people. I can't work in a room with amalfunctioning tube, let aside with some employee running radiomusic, and I asked a friend of mine not to use sad emoticons in here-mails because they cause me depression. I can't stand seeing how adog or a child is mistreated, I feel forced to intervene. The resultmight be one of the following.
Overload, Over-stimulation. Everythingsuddenly is experienced by the person at 100 percent. Noises are asif a bomb explodes, lights cause extreme effects, problems includingemotions of other persons can not be kept separate from their ownemotions.
Shutdown. The person is unable to act or react. I watcheda cashier who was confronted with a problem she could not solve. Shejust sat there for minutes, not able to speak.
Meltdown, panic, atotal loss of control, experienced as fight for life. The subjectdoes not feel pain nor understands that he might cause pain anddanger to others, risk his own life or might be punished.
So, I thinkthe author might have observed persons in the autistic spectrum buthas no profound knowledge about Aspergers Syndrome nor is he onehimself.
"Mostdiseases have some basis in our DNA, though in many cases we have yetto discover it."
TheAsperger Syndrome and being part of the Autistic Spectrum is nodisease. I believe that it was important for the human race that atiny part of them think differently and act differently, e.g. livealone in a hut in the woods and detect how to make fire. As ananalogy, scientists have found out that the survival of a stone agetribe might be promoted if some, but not all women live until theyare grandmothers, helping to raise the children and providing soundadvice from their experience.
"brainfunction that had been inappropriately medicalized"
Youcan't medicalize autism. You might apply drugs which have a sedatingeffect. You must educate the non-autistic part of the people totolerate autism, e.g. that autists are missing the instinctivebehaviour to make eye contact and that this is not a sign that theyare lying.
"Nowwe would have the inevitable small talk. I could have spent fifteenminutes at home practicing aikido."
Nowthat's a calculation I, being myself in the autistic spectrum, makeall the time.
"offeringpractical advice, but it seemed that she preferred to discuss trivia"
Yep.I often teased my partner she should make notes when I explainsomething to her. I am not able to discuss trivia.
"Itseems hardly possible to analyze such a complex situation involvingdeceit and supposition of another person’s emotional response, andthen prepare your own plausible lie"
Correct.I don't lie unless it's necessary for a good joke. It takes too muchtime and effort.
"Icontinued with my presentation as I had prepared it."
Correct.I take much trouble to plan and prepare an activity, e.g. a tour withmy bike club. Sometimes I had arguments with my group if suddenly themajority of them voted for changing the plan. Too much depended on myplans, e.g. to take a route where the sun would not shine from thefront directly into my eyes.
"Asperger’sisn’t a fault. It’s a variant. It’s potentially a majoradvantage"
Maybean advantage for mankind - some think that Einstein, whose strengthis said to think things which are inconceivable for other people, wasan Asperger. But the individual lacks the support of all other peopleand often is considered crazy and stupid.
"sheput her hand on my shoulder. I flinched automatically. "
That'snormal.
"Noflexibility?” “Definitely not"
Thisis definitely a disadvantage of being an Asperger.
"BeforeI met Gene and Claudia I had two other friends"
Okay,I am a senior so most friends and all relatives in my life havepassed away anyway. But today I have four friends which I communicatevia whatsapp, messenger or email. In the average I may see them twotimes per year.
"Shetold me that her birthday had always been her favorite day of theyear. I understood that this view was common in children, owing tothe gifts, but had not expected it in an adult"
Idon't celebrate my birthdays. Why celebrate when my remaininglifetime just has been reduced by one year.
"Mostadults with Asperger’s syndrome don’t know they have it"
Igot my diagnosis at 62 years.
"thehoroscope readers", "the sports watchers, thecreationists", "the homeopaths"
Idon't understand them. I am personally suffering to be locked withall of them on the same planet. I only can bear them when I rememberI might be responsible for them, e.g. my coworkers while I am betweenthe CEO and them.
"acceleratedworkout at the gym, achieved by deleting the shower", "AlthoughI was perspiring heavily from the heat and exercise"
Whybother with showering daily if I don't meet people anyway. When I wasa child, everybody bathed on Saturdays.
"Thecorrect answer is (c) on time,” I said. “Habitual earliness iscumulatively a major waste of time"
Can't stand people whocome early to an appointment. If I expect somebody for 4 hours P.M.,I need my time for preparations, to have ready fresh made coffee by3:50 and finished setting the table by 3:59.
"Howoften do you train?”
“Three times per week"
At50, I started training karate four times a week. Not because I wantedto become a superman, but because for Aspergers it is extremelydifficult to learn new, rhythmic movements, e.g. dancing, or karatekatas.
"Ihad not been to an art gallery since the tenth of May, three yearsbefore"
(Grin)That could be me, telling somebody else or composing an entry in myweblog which my few friends have the password of. Yesterday's entrywas: " Kl. Rasenmäher: Messer und Haube abgeschraubt, Grasresteim Motor ausgeblasen und die Luftfilter gereinigt sowie mitHeißklebepunkten wieder eingefügt, den dicken Grasfilz mitzurechtgeschnitzten Hölzchen abgekratzt. Das Messer hatte ichzuletzt am 14.1.23 geschliffen, davor am 19. April 21."Translation (short): "Cleaned the small lawn mower, removedsickle bar and hood, cleaned motor and filters. Last time I sharpenedthe cutter bar was on 14 January, 2023 and before that on 19. April,2021".
"Iput the herb and vegetable mixture in the large saucepan with thewater, salt, rice wine vinegar, mirin, orange peel, and corianderseeds."
Myblog entry from yesterday: "Abends zwei Hähnchenflügel, 20minbei Höchsteinstellung 230 Grad, 5min auf dem Gußgrill, weitere 5mindrauf belassen". Translation: In the evening I had two chickenwings, 20min at the maximum of 230 degrees Celsius, 5min on the castiron electric grill, stayed on it another 5min".
"Rosiecould leave and life would return to normal"
Correct.I like to have a visitor. Then I am glad if he/she's left and I canreturn to my routines and planed tasks.
"Iwent to the whiteboard and started writing up revised preparations"
Yeah,I have plans for everything, daily, week, months, life.
"“Well,”she said, “it’s been an evening. Have a good life.”
Itwas a nonstandard way of saying good night. I thought it safer tostick with convention. “Good night." I never know what I amexpected to say.
"Itold him that the flavor didn’t matter, as long as it containedalcohol."
That'smy standard line, meant as a joke or to shock people I can't stand.
"beingreminded that I needed to try harder to “fit in"
That'swhat I was told all my life. "Fit in with the onward surge ofthe lemmings, which inevitably ends in disaster".
"shehardly spoke at all. This made the walk quite pleasant"
Ionce met a girl with whom I made a trip to a beautiful lake and wewatched, smiling, a nutria who had no idea we were there. She hardlyspoke at all. She then was my partner for decades and still is mybest friend.
"hewas large and angry. In order to prevent further violence, I wasforced to sit on him".
Sofunny!
"Iam not naturally a dexterous person"
Aspergersnever are. That is the reason for: "considerable practice over along period"
"Idiagnosed brain overload and set up a spreadsheet to analyze thesituation."
WhenI told a psychiatrist exactly the same thing and showed her a 30 yearold spreadsheet, she immediately diagnosed me with Asperger Syndrome.
"Lookat me when I’m talking"
Aspergerscan't do that. In the moment where they forget strict to controltheir viewing direction they won't look at the other person.
"mydefault assumption is that people will be honest"
Yeah,that was the big problem in my life. I never thought so lowly likesome other people. Once I voluntarily maintained a public areabordering at my property. A neighbour asked me what I am doing,adding public property to my own. I never knew that the idea, tosteal a little bit of land, existed on earth. Another time, I paid myfood in a snack bar and took it to my table. Then I was admonishednot to steal the salt shaker. I did not know that there might bepeople thinking so lowly and are so stupid to believe that somebodywould steal a salt shake worth 1 Dollar. I never went to that placeagain. The are not really my race there, they only look like me.
"Withthe repeat button on", "Unlike many people, I am verycomfortable with repetition"
Ofcourse. If I like a piece of music, why not have it on repeat forsome hours or days.
"Onesentence per day. Leave out eating, sleeping, and travel.” Thatmade it easy. “Sunday, Museum of Natural History; Monday, Museum ofNatural History; Tuesday, Museum of Natural History; Wednesday—”“Stop, wait! Don’t tell me Wednesday. Keep it as a surprise."
SOFUNNY
"Howlong have you had that shirt?”
“Fourteen years"
Iam quite experienced with turning the collar right side out after afew years so the shirt looks like new again. Have the best sewingmachine you can buy for money (Bernina).
" never watch sports. Ever. "
Ido sport. I do not sit in an armchair and watch other people doingsports. That doesn't help for better health and there is no excitingcombat like, for example, in participating in a basketball game.
