STILL DOODLING IN MARGINS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

I have a notebook as well as a sketchbook. I find myself keepingthem separate because in my early days, when I was serious, struggling tobecome some kind of professional, people who seemed to know more told me, “Youhave to make up your mind.” The world where they make creativity into moneydoesn’t like it if you’re an artist and a writer, and if you do themboth at the same time . . .

The desire to be a cartoonist isn’t something teachers like. Why don’t you doreal art? Real writing, instead of all this sci-fi silliness?

For years I fought off the urge to be a renaissance Chicano,writing, and drawing on the same page, with the same tool, pencil, pen, or evencrayon.

In the the happy rebellion of my school daze, doodling inthe margins of the notebooks while taking notes in class, trying to commit andmaster the painful, unnatural act of being a student. I hijacked the educationalmaterials and space to put some of what’s bubbling in my head into someviewable form.

My personal notebooks are where I organize my writer business. Imake notes of daily progress, keep track of my simultaneous projects, jot downrough ideas. Serious stuff.

These days, I doodle in the margins of my notebooks.

Unlike what I do in my sketchbooks, these aren’t intended forpublic consumption. I’m not being a “professional” artist. Damn, it’sliberating.

It’s putting down the burden of art, the way the Maya speak ofputting down the burden of time.

At the same time, I find myself reconnecting with drawing, the actof making a mess with some kind of tool, putting the magic in my mind on a flatsurface.

In the end, it makes me a better artist–whateverthehell that is.

Sometimes I take pictures of these doodles. Some of them arepretty good. Maybe they’ll somehow make their way into my Work.

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