Existential Crisis

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Existential Crisis

The other day, I was having a private online conversation with a friend and lamented about my lack of writing. I don’t feel too much pressure to write since 2024 is already planned out for me because of my spinoff trilogy. But lately, I have seriously considered hanging up my pen, so to speak. In desperation, I pulled the very first manuscript I ever wrote but never submitted to anyone. I had high hopes that I could fix it after learning so much from mentors and editors over the past nine years. I haven’t given up, but so much of the draft is truly crap. The only good news is the realization of how far I’ve come as a writer. This got me thinking…am I having an existential crisis? Not that I knew what an existential crisis really was? So…of course, I did some research on the topic, thinking it has to somehow connect to non-producing authors!

Want to know what an existential crisis is? According to an article I pulled up, “An existential crisis, by definition, refers to the ensemble of feelings and questions we have to do with the meaning and purpose of our life.” They suggest that the answers to those questions aren’t easy to find and can lead to a feeling of being stuck. Well, no shit, Sherlock. Maybe I’m not so off the mark after all. I suppose mine is a targeted existential crisis, related specifically to writing. Instead of questioning the meaning and purpose of my life, I suppose I’m questioning the meaning and purpose of my writing! Apparently, there are five signs to discovering if you’re in the middle of an existential crisis. And they are:

Constant worry. Check. I am constantly worried that my latest book won’t at least break even.Symptoms of anxiety and depression. Well, sort of, I guess. Does not wanting to work out every day count? I admit to missing a whole week and a half when traveling to Las Vegas to see Pink and Brandi Carlile!Decrease in motivation. Oh yeah, this is me. I’m so not motivated to write, work out, or do much of anything besides binge-watching shows with remotely sapphic themes.Low energy levels. While I certainly have this one, it could also be related to a few medical issues that I need to stay on top of.Decrease in social activity. Kind of not a biggie for an introvert…we hate socializing!

Here’s my final assessment…I am indeed having an existential writing crisis, but I’m not sure I want to do anything about it. I guess that means that if anyone wants to read my stuff, you may want to check out my backlog. Don’t expect too much after 2024! The good news is that I’ve written plenty over the years to choose from. So dig in. I dare you!