My Friend the Wasp
There's a small nest of a few wasps at my front door. It scares most people who come by, great for avoiding solicitors, but we're cool. I've been actively generous to the wasps that live in my area ever since I learned that they're capable of remembering human faces to recognize threats. It started selfishly, from not wanting to be stung. But as years have gone by, even occasionally giving them maple syrup or other treats from the house, I've genuinely grown fond of them. We even went through a tragedy together recently when a giant nest of eggs that they'd built in my light fixture outside fell to the ground and killed all their babies. A few of them started again though, much smaller this time, and right on the entryway of my front door. Not the most convenient place for any of us honestly, but we've been through this nest routine before and I know it's a short lived inconvenience.
Unfortunately, the other day, one of them got left behind on the wrong side of the closed door and I didn't notice. So now, and ever since, he's been buzzing around the ceiling of my living room. He's lost, scared, confused, and visibly exhausted. He frequently gives large bursts of energy trying to find his way out through the ceiling or tops of windows and gives up and just perches there on the ceiling looking defeated and barely moving for hours. I've tried to help him by opening doors/windows, but he rarely gets close enough to where I am to sense the air or light coming in. Instead, he just keeps hitting dead ends in his efforts.
I can't reach him to actually catch him and put him outside, yet. And it's for the best because my cats are still actively invested in their own personal fantasies of catching and killing him. Once they get bored, it'll likely be safer for him to get lower to the ground. But for now, I just occasionally try to swat him gently in the right direction. And I know he's probably even more confused by that. Like, "I thought this person was cool. I trusted her. Why is she mad at me? Why am I being punished? Have I not been through enough?"
And I realize that's exactly how I feel a lot of the time too, and how most of us feel. All we see are dark hallways and impenetrable ceilings and clear glass barriers that allow us to see our dreams and desires but never reach them. And the more we trust that a larger being has our best interests in mind, the more betrayed we feel when we're led to more dark, confusing hallways, not knowing how close the front door actually is.
And I hope he finds his way back to the nest on his own. But I also trust that in both cases, eventually, a force bigger than us, that can't quite reach us, will be able to communicate with us to get us back outside where we want to be, even if it involves an upside down glass and a lot of fear and confusion, hopefully not. Because I do care about him finding his way. And I trust that there's someone like that rooting for all of us.
Unfortunately, the other day, one of them got left behind on the wrong side of the closed door and I didn't notice. So now, and ever since, he's been buzzing around the ceiling of my living room. He's lost, scared, confused, and visibly exhausted. He frequently gives large bursts of energy trying to find his way out through the ceiling or tops of windows and gives up and just perches there on the ceiling looking defeated and barely moving for hours. I've tried to help him by opening doors/windows, but he rarely gets close enough to where I am to sense the air or light coming in. Instead, he just keeps hitting dead ends in his efforts.
I can't reach him to actually catch him and put him outside, yet. And it's for the best because my cats are still actively invested in their own personal fantasies of catching and killing him. Once they get bored, it'll likely be safer for him to get lower to the ground. But for now, I just occasionally try to swat him gently in the right direction. And I know he's probably even more confused by that. Like, "I thought this person was cool. I trusted her. Why is she mad at me? Why am I being punished? Have I not been through enough?"
And I realize that's exactly how I feel a lot of the time too, and how most of us feel. All we see are dark hallways and impenetrable ceilings and clear glass barriers that allow us to see our dreams and desires but never reach them. And the more we trust that a larger being has our best interests in mind, the more betrayed we feel when we're led to more dark, confusing hallways, not knowing how close the front door actually is.
And I hope he finds his way back to the nest on his own. But I also trust that in both cases, eventually, a force bigger than us, that can't quite reach us, will be able to communicate with us to get us back outside where we want to be, even if it involves an upside down glass and a lot of fear and confusion, hopefully not. Because I do care about him finding his way. And I trust that there's someone like that rooting for all of us.
Published on October 20, 2023 14:42
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