DON’T GO

 

She was gone. Well, everyone was gone, but she was truly gone. My oldest was dead. My angel.

 

When everyone else left me after she passed, they left a huge mess. There were piles in each room. I tried to go through them, but each time, I came across something of hers. Tears always followed and me passing out on the floor from exhaustion.

 

Even when I slept, I didn’t rest. My dreams were filled with her and the longing to have her back. Passing out with tears, waking up in tears, that was my life now.

 

The only one to come to me was one of my oldest friends. That was, of course, after I had been nearly beaten to death by a family member. I am not sure why that happened, but it did, and only days after my child’s death. My arm was swollen in two places. I couldn’t see out of my right eye. Several ribs were cracked, and I was covered in bruises.

 

She came over to try and help me get to a hospital. Her job was a hard one. I didn’t want to leave the house. All of my daughter’s things were here. What if they disappeared when I was gone? What if she really wasn’t dead and she came back but I wasn’t here?

 

My friend was dragging me to the front door. I fought her with all I had. She left me right at the entrance so she could unlock the door and take me to her car. I looked down at my arms. The red swelling was getting worse.

 

Suddenly, someone else was embracing me. Her long blonde hair fell down her back. I gripped her as tight as I could. There was no way I would let go this time. Her tears blended with mine.

 

“I love you mom.”

 

“I love you, too. Don’t leave me again.”

 

“I have to. You have to let me go.”

 

“I can’t. I won’t. Don’t go.”

 

She began to pull away but I held her tighter. I cried harder than I ever had. “No! You can’t leave me. Don’t leave me.” Her form started to dissipate in my arms. “No…No…”

 

“I love you mom. I will be waiting for you.”

 

And she was gone….

 

I awoke in the same tears I had been crying in my dreams, yelling ‘NO’ as loud as I could….