Writing a Check to the Agency
When my wife and I were trying to have a baby (and, yes, I realize, she was doing the heavy lifting in that department), we suffered multiple miscarriages over the course of nearly a decade. And before you say, “Why didn’t you just adopt?” I’ll say adoption is the answer to wanting to have a kid, but not the answer to fertility problems. So, we were exhausting one before we moved to the other.
But when the time came, we found a great adoption place in our area and started the process. We had one last round of IVF to go, but we were sure it wasn’t going to work, so we started the long process of prepping for adoption. The agency required all prospective parents to take a class and that cost a few hundred bucks. Before we wrote the check, we had this conversation:
Her: What if this latest round of IVF works?
Me: Let’s write the check anyway, let’s do the class. It’ll just be our way of telling the universe that we’re going to have kids whether it wants us to or not.
We wrote the check and attended our first class. Then, we found out that last round of IVF worked.
We essentially told the universe “You don’t want us to have kids? Well, fuck you.” And the universe changed course.
Now, we have two awesome boys. We asked that our money we gave the adoption agency be put toward another couple looking to start a family.
And now, when the universe tells us no, my wife and I say, “We just need to write a check to the adoption agency.” It means we need to do that thing that proves that, yes, we get the signal that the universe doesn’t want that to happen, but we don’t give a fuck. We’re doing it anyway.
Be bold. Take the scary step. Write the check.
