A Baby Boomer’s “Just So You Know” Declaration.
Hmmm, I think you may have underestimatedmy ability to be stubborn.
As a member of the Baby Boomergeneration, I am rather set in my ways and disinclined to surrender to the “doit our way” pressures that are increasingly being aimed at me. The “that’s justthe way it is” argument carries no weight with me. Hence, I feel it necessaryto make a few just so you know declarations.
To Intact Insurance
I acknowledge your notice that you are goingpaperless and that I can access my policy documents online. Just so youknow, I will be printing all those documents for my files and resenting you asI do so. All paperless means to me is that I have to do the printinginstead of you. And by the way, your Online Service Centre was out ofservice for a full day!
To Utilities Companies
Your labyrinthian voice mail systems aredesigned to prevent me from ever speaking to a living, breathing person. Justso you know, I will persist in cracking the code of your system to reach the Speakto a Representative option no matter how many levels deep you bury it. Andno, I am not interested in chatting with your AI entity regardless of what humanname you give it.
To the Limeridge Mall Rogers Store
Your continuing text messages enticingme to upgrade to the latest, greatest new digital device are deletedimmediately upon receipt. My antique-vintage iPhone still works just fine. Justso you know, I will continue to use it until it rolls over and dies. I do notcare that your iPhone 15 Pro has a Super Retina XDR Display whatever thehell that means.
To all Retail Chain Stores
You clearly see self-serve checkouts asthe way of the future. Just so you know, I will go out of my way to sniff outstores that still offer full-service checkout. Amazon is kicking your assanyway when it comes to service. A day may come when I will not need your storeat all.
To Politicians
You are fond of making a bevy of grandpromises to try to get my vote. Just so you know, I apply the divide bythree and subtract two formulae to determine the number of promises you arelikely to keep. And Doug Ford, where you are concerned, I will cast a write-invote for the ghost of Elvis before I vote for you.
To HP
You continue to nag me about Finishingthe Set-up on my laptop. I have done all the set-up I require to do what Ineed to do. Just so you know, I will continue to click on the Remind Me inThree Days button until hell freezes over or you get the message –whichever comes first.
Just so you know, I am Baby Boomerstubborn and proud of it. Stubborn as a mule. As stubborn as the will of kings.Stubborn as a stone. I will outlast you regardless of what tactics you employto try to convert me to your way of thinking. That’s just the way it is.
~ Now Available Online from Amazon,Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage –Stories by Michael Robert Dyet
~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Untilthe Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner inthe Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .
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