How to support writers in your life (when you’re not one yourself)

I wanted to write a list of ways you can support your writer friends, spouses, siblings, or colleagues when you aren’t a writer yourself. I have writer friends and non-writer friends and sometimes, especially if you’re not a big reader, either, it can be hard to talk to a writer and show you care about their work. So here are some tips!

Read their work

This one is obvious. Even if you’re not a big reader, it still shows you care by taking an interest in their work and offering to read it. You could tell them beforehand that it’s not really your thing but you love them and want to show support. Don’t get back to them and say it was boring or bad, though! Feedback I’ll get into in a moment, but that’s not helpful for them or your relationship. Instead, just the act of reading and telling them when you finished and thanking them for being vulnerable enough with you to share, can improve your bond and help them feel like you care about their work.

They may not want you to, but an offer goes a long way!

Ask questions

This is something I’ve recently asked my husband for. Asking questions shows curiosity and therefore an interest in someone’s life and work. If you ask about their day usually or their work, why not ask about their writing, too?

Some questions to help you:

What are you working on at the moment?Did you write that scene/chapter you told me about last week?Are you enjoying the story you’re working on right now?Where is your story set?What characters are your favourite in your stories and why?Why did you choose to write this story? Do you know how the story ends? Would you share? (Promise not to tell!)

Don’t ask why they haven’t finished yet. Don’t ask if they’re going to publish this one. Don’t ask if they think it’ll make them (or you both) some money. This is pressure and it takes away from the art itself as worthy of doing.

Give feedback

Of course, if you feel able, give feedback to your writer friend. Feedback should always be constructive and useful, not negative and too personal.

Some useful things you could say:

I really enjoyed the scene where X happened, could you explore more of that?I didn’t feel like the character’s development was consistent because at first they were X and now they’re Y which didn’t really work for meI didn’t quite understand the magic system, was it supposed to be X or did I get that wrong? What themes were you trying to explore here because I understood X and wondered if that’s what you intended

It’s about helping them get out what they originally intended, not what you wanted. It’s about highlighting things that were confusing or inconsistent so they can fix it.

Talk about them

If you’re proud of your writer friend or loved one, you should talk about them! Tell other people that they are a writer. Tell other people of any published works they have out (online or printed). Tell people about your writer friend’s blog (cough cough!!). You should want them to do well and reach more people so if you know people who like to read or enjoy what you know your writer friend writes, then tell people about it!

Eyes on opportunities

Similarly, you could keep an eye out on opportunities that might help your writer friend. Share with them any classes or mentorship programs. Share any writing competitions or agent draws on social media. If you know someone who has an agent looking for work similar to your friend’s, speak them up and tell them immediately. We need all the help we can get.

Share their work

Of course, you need to share their work. If they publish things online, share it around your social media. If they have published a physical book, tell others to go and buy it. Heck, buy the book as a gift for your other friends to enjoy. Why do we share other people’s work but not the work of the people we love? Why do we spend our money on the work of strangers and not those we love? Even if you don’t read it yourself, your support in this way makes a difference in a cutthroat industry like this.

Help them get back up

Writers suffer a lot of rejection. We have a lot of self-doubt and imposter syndrome and fear that we will never be recognised for our hard work. That we’re just not good enough. If you care about us, help us get back up after being knocked down. Be our loudest cheerleader.

Cheer them on with:

You are an amazing writer, I love your work and one day others will tooYou work so hard and I know it’s tough but you love this and therefore one day you’ll get where you need to beGo back to the basics; find your joy in this and you can’t go wrongLet’s work through some ideas together to help you find what went wrong I think you love stories about X so that’s where you need to put your energyYou are strongest when writing about X, let’s explore that together and help you get going again This is tough but so are you They didn’t want your work this time around, but you have what it takes to make it better or for the next person to want it instead Let’s take a break and I will help you get back on track when you’re ready

Just check in

Writing is hard. Sometimes we get sad because our work isn’t working. We writers need help and support with our mental health through the writing journey. Just a phone call, a text, a “how are you doing? I know you’re in a story right now, how’s that going?” goes a long way.

(Thanks, Mom, for checking in with me and talking through my writing with me today. And my husband for texting me about my feelings about my career lately. It really helped me just feel less alone on this journey.)

Thank you for loving us writers. We need all the support! I know we have a passion that can make us dreamy, anxious and reserved but we love you for all your patience and understanding. Please keep cheering us on!

Sincerely,

S. xx