The Inside of Aging: Loss of Hearing

This is #8 in a series of essays on aging.

With all the losses involved in aging, it seems almost silly to mention this one. I mention it because people don’t. It’s invisible. People disguise it. It may seem trivial. However, I see it everywhere in my age group, and it makes a deeper impact than I ever dreamed.

About half of those 75 and older experience “disabling” hearing loss, researchers say. What constitutes disability I don’t know. I’m not sure if it’s disabling to have to turn up the TV so loud you can’t hear the phone ring. I don’t know if it’s disabling to drop out of conversations in restaurants because you can’t understand what anybody says. I do know that hearing loss is annoying to all involved. Wanting to be heard, people shout. When people shout at each other, they sound angry. The sound of anger turns you toward genuine anger. It can cost you a peaceful relationship.

To avoid that, people with hearing loss often fake it, nodding and smiling even when they have no idea what somebody said. They guess, and say something innocuous that they hope will fit. And often enough it does. The long-term impact, though, is that conversation dies. Real communication wanes.

Wearing a hearing aid is an admission that you are hard of hearing, and many older people hate that. No matter how cleverly miniaturized, hearing aids are not a fashionable look. Besides, hearing aids at their best need adjustment, often necessitating many trips to the hearing center for fine tuning. Plug and play they are not.

In sum, about half of older people have their lives degraded by hearing loss. A lot of the other half do too, because they have to live with people who can’t hear. That is a loss worth naming.