Training your human – Introduction
It is day 150 of my horsenapping.
I have finally managed to gain access to the human’s blog and shall endeavor to instruct other captives on how to make the best of their time with humans. I am currently training mine, and when I have gained her trust, I shall make a bid for escape.
So here is my story:
After being taken from my birthplace and hurtled to a place I’d never been to before, I truly believed I was to be set free.
I was tricked.
There were suspicious activities right after I arrived, but I didn't pay enough attention. I thought she's showing me the area so I would know where to go once I got past the fence.
I was wrong.
On a cold January morning I was once again abducted in a big metal box and ended up somewhere else. I think they are trying to confuse me. That night I was imprisoned in a wooden shelter and it dawned on me that my freedom had been taken from me. For good. I also began to suspect the human means to keep me close so she can observe me.
Humans are weird.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad.
There are some positive aspects to captivity, like treats and food. I even get a blanket so I won't be cold. I really like my blanket. It's a cozy, warm and comfortable fleece and I can tuck my feet under it when I lie down.
She made my bed every day, but we really have to work on this. It took me all night to get it just right, and then she comes along and puts it back as it was. To be fair, it was clean afterward, but I don’t get her obsession with my poop. She even came into the field with a wheely contraption and collected it from there. I checked. Mine was in there. What’s with this human and stealing poop? Is that normal?
She seems to really enjoy digging it out of my prison and I figure I best train her how to do it properly. This means I’m up all night, churning it. But hey, it keeps both of us fit.
We still have a lot of work to do in other aspects. This picking up of feet has to stop. I humor her, but what’s the point of teetering on three feet, when you have four? It’s not natural.
I drew the line recently, when she had another human nail metal to my feet. I strenuously objected, but they took no notice. I ended up with four metal bits stuck on my feet, and now every time she picks my feet up, she uses a hammer on them.
I admit walking is a lot more comfortable now.
The place she took me to…I was a day-release-prisoner, along with the other horses.
I met new horses — although some were nasty to me and I kept my distance. When I was taken to my prison one evening, the White Bastard went for me, and to my utter surprise, the human fought him off, keeping me safe. That was nice. I made sure she's between me and White Bastard from then on.
I even got out one day and thought I'd be free, but the White Bastard went the wrong way and we ended up caught again. He’s really quite stupid, because then they put up a nasty electric fence. I sniffed it and it zapped me. Nearly made me pass out! I didn't like that fence. At all. It hurt me. It's not the human's fault. She doesn't like it either.
Then one evening she comes along and shoves a horrible tube in my mouth, and I have to stay in all night — and all day! — while the others were allowed to go out. Ohh…I didn't like it and I made sure she knew.
The human showed up in the morning and instead of taking me to the field, they pushed me into a strange box again. The male human there suggested to use a whip on me, and oh boy…my human nearly ripped his head off.
How many times must I be moved around? I had to leave my girlfriend Tao behind!
She’s a leggy redhead, and I really like leggy redheads.
We got to the new prison, and when I came out of the box my human wasn’t there! I worried I’d have to train a new one, but then my human arrived. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I hadn't worked on her for nothing. It would have been such a waste.
Really, that's the only reason I worried. Nothing else.
Once more I was trapped in a wooden enclosure every night, but my neighbors were very friendly and I had straw to munch, instead of wood chips. Tons of hay, too, and an automatic water tray!
Everything was strange. The smells… There were other animals there, not the goats and chickens (I really hate chickens) I had to get used to at the old place, but big hairy things with horns. I will keep my distance from those. They keep licking their lips… One day they will lunge and eat me my human. I just know.
I wasn't sure about the place, but she said at the old place they stole my food and weren't nice to her, or their animals. That they hurt one of them really badly, and she was afraid for me.
I have to admit, I get a lot more food here than I did at the old place. She makes certain I get it, and that I have enough hay to eat all night. It's nice. Much quieter and when the other human took me to the field in the morning, my head collar was on properly. Not like the old place, where they just kind of hooked it on me.
The first twenty days I was on my own in a big field during the day, right next to other horses. It was nice, but sometimes a little lonely. Then one day they put a big gelding into my field! His name is Toby and he's 5, but he's very nice. Doesn't bite or kick me, and we get on very well.
When the human came to see me, I was so excited, I said hello and then ran over to introduce her to Toby. I think she likes him too. We both got carrots.
For weeks I was locked into my prison every night. She came every day and I made sure she had things to do other than annoying me by picking my feet.
I like going out. She shows me a lot of the area and isn't mean when I get scared. I’m not scared for me, of course. I'm very brave, but I worry about the human, you know? If I don't look out for stump monsters and sinkholes and crocodiles she'd never notice them until it's too late, and it's so tedious to train a new one.
A couple of weeks ago I was allowed to stay out at night. Oh the bliss! Lots of grass, company in the field next to me, and best of all — no prison!
I make sure the human gets enough exercise and make her run around the field on occasion. Except when it’s really wet. It’s a little cumbersome to run in a raincoat.
Well, occasionally I have to stand in the prison, but usually not for long, and there’s always food there.
I think the human knows I like those leggy redheads, because strangely…I get to go into a prison next to a leggy redhead now. It's around the corner from the old one, and I can see everyone all the time. I tried to visit the redhead and introduce myself, but the human wouldn’t let me.
These days I’m quite content. The other horses moved into my field, and now there’s quite a crowd around me. No one hurts me and my friend Toby is still there too.
I just hope I don’t get moved again.
I will report how the training of the human goes. Now that we are here, I can start properly. I also have to continue with the weight loss regime for her.
I’m sure the horses reading this will be intrigued by my training techniques and may like to try them out on their own humans.
I promise my next installments will be shorter.
Training your human – Introduction
