Putting the Flat In Flatline

When you are on a bad luck streak and yours truly is on one of epic proportions the only thing that keeps you going (sometimes) is knowing you are owed a change of fortune.  So in addition to the surfboard being lifted we haven’t seen a wave here in the Northeast in months.  Obviously whatever was bothering fellow surfer Junior Seau, he felt he couldn’t wait for the turnaround.   Maybe it was a flat spell out in San Diego as well.  I feel your pain Junior and sorry to see you go.  At least now we have the antithesis to “Tebowing” its called “Seauing”.

Pretty much everyone is tired of hearing about the surfboard.  I’m sure in this poor excuse of a world we presently live in everyone has been the victim of theft.  I’ve been told more than once, “Get over it.”  However, taking a surfer’s board is not like taking an iPod, a purse or even car.  Boards are unique to their owners so taking a board takes not just a part of the surfer but a part of his/her soul.  We are due for a shark attack here in the Northeast.  When it happens I’ll bet even money the victim will be riding my stolen Walden.

Speaking of even money its Christmas all over again with the first Saturday in May otherwise known as Kentucky Derby Day. “Well when you’re sitting back in your rose pink cadillac/Making bets on Kentucky Derby Day/Ah, I’ll be in my basement room with a needle and a spoon/And another girl to take my pain away.”  So while Mick in Keith are in the basement doing their thing I am reading horse picker, handicapper extraordinaire Jay Cronley.  For both a laugh and some solid investment advice click here.

If your looking to decrease your odds from 1 in 20 to 1 in 16 read on.

1.  3 Take Charge Indy – Has the breeding and the speed.  If you’ve seen or heard Calvin Borel you know his success on the First Saturday in May can only be divine intervention. Never good betting against God, trust me I know.

2.   8 Creative Cause – Name indicates financial support for starving artist.

3.  15 Gemologist – Close friend of LOL (Lovely Old Lady).

4.  19 I’ll Have Another – Name rings a bell for some reason

If you believe my luck is about to turn then go to the nearest race track teller or Off Track Betting window and say, “Eleventh Race at Churchill on Saturday” and bet the above numbers in any and all combinations.

If you believe in more calculated risks buy what Jay Cronley is selling.

KOKO